My other half feels that our 2 year old daughter dislikes her.

[Sco77]

Hi all,

Sorry for posting on mumsnet and actually being a dad! Hope that's okay!

Our little girl is two years and nine months old and although she's cute and very loving, there are times when she's quite angry. Folding her arms and telling us to shh or to go away.

I understand that it can be a difficult age for little ones and self regulation doesn't exist much for them at this age.

The concern seems to be more with her mum than with me and her mum is starting to feel like our little one hates her and only puts up with her when no one else is around.

I'm watching my other half struggle with this, it's really destroying her confidence and making her feel less connected to our little one.

I'm trying to help, I listen and try to look up what the root cause could be so it can be addressed but have not be able to find anything that helps stop this disconnect.

I'm really lost and I was wondering if anyone else has had the same experience.

I'd really appreciate any advice.

Thank you in advance.

Scott

postpartum anxiety can develop up to 2 years after giving birth. Are you asking this because this feeling disrupts your partner ability to parent your kid/live her life fully or is she just feeling blues?

She's feeling very low because of it, she has been for a long time. She has felt that our little one has had a preferred parent for a long time and has said that she does not feel the bond is as strong as it could be.

I guess my main question is, is it normal for a two year old to be angry with one parent more than the other?

I just want them both to be okay.

I don't think your daughter hates her mother, but it's possible.

It's normal for kid to behave differently with one parent than with other. Are you parenting your kids differently to each other? This might make kid act out more, it's much better for child psychological health if you agree on major parenting ideas and do similar things.
But I would ask for more advice for allied child health professional. Does your kid goes to nursery and can you ask staff there do they have suggestion or advice?

From what my mates have told me, and what I've seen from our 2.9 year old, they can flip flop between parents as regards preferences. It can last months or change every day. Ours has also become more emotional recently and tells us to shhh or go away at times, I don't think it's abnormal. The tough thing is constantly keeping yourself on the moral high ground, sometimes I just want to shout at her NO, YOU BLOODY GO AWAY but she's only 2 years and 9 months old and really has no life experience or context, and, I suspect, very little understanding of the effect of what she's doing. I think it's very unlikely indeed that she hates your partner.