4 week old, hysterical crying for 2 hours every evening

[Monsy]

Does anyone have this problem and know what I can do/am doing wrong? My four week old DS sleeps very well at night from about 9pm until 3am (when I feed him, then goes back to sleep until 7am when I feed him again - i am breastfeeding) then settles himself in his moses basket and naps well in the morning, but then from 10.30am for the rest of the day he catnaps no more than 20 mins at a time, by the time of his bath at 5pm he is exhausted. I take him to his room, feed him and he falls asleep on me, so I'm not sure how much he's getting. Then as soon as i put him in his moses basket at 6.30/7pm, he goes into hysterical crying which does not stop until i feed him again at 9pm and he conks out. I have tried expressing and giving him a good 80ml at 6pm which he takes well, but he still cries hysterically at the same time every evening. Is this just a phase of fussy evenings? The problem is that I live in India and its 40 degrees outside so I can't even take him outside for a walk...

Thanks, Monsy

Hey Monsy... reeeeeally tiring isn't it???

seriously, don't worry about routines at this stage, you'll only end up in a state cos your lo is busy being as random as possible!

just try to go with the flow, sleep when you can, feed him as much as he wants and try to make sure you're getting as much support as possible!

i found the first 6 weeks INCREDIBLY hard, and its still tough at times but once your ds starts giving something back (smiles and so on) it becomes more rewarding - and in time he'll settle into some kind of a pattern (tho my ds still quite likes random days! He is happy with his bath, song, boob, bed routine at night tho...)

Hang in there. He won't hurt himself thru not sleeping, tho he may drive you bonkers

Monsy - just a thought but have you tried a dummy? I remember distinctly ds (nearly 2 now) went through a phase from around 4 - 8 weeks when we could not settle him between 7ish and 10ish - we would have him downstairs in a moses basket with a dummy in and sometimes he even cried through that - I was really quite desperate.... but then I used to take him and put him in his cot and then sit by him with dummy popping in and out until he would finally go off (took about an hour sometimes !) but then that sort of did it. Have you also tried a swaddle? Miracle Blanket from Mothercare was a godsend - I think ds just wanted the comfort. I got rid of the dummy at 13 weeks when he just really wanted his thumb and a musln as a comforter and that was that. I was using a very loose routine similar to Claudia which crystallised by about 5 - 6 months but just do what you can for now and get through the next 10 ish weeks after it really will get sooooo much better. A friend of mine whose dd was born 4 weeks earlier than my ds had a dreadful time with her daughters colic - constant full on crying and then miraculously at around 13 weeks it all subsided - she is now a gorgeous good sleeper of a 2 year old....
Hang on in there you're doing the best you can - and pick any of the advice which suits you - it is very very personal all this stuff but do keep posting - you will get lots of different opinions as you can see (I wasn't bf by the way)....

at this age the pattern changes about every five minutes so dont worry this is normal. i'd feed whenever he wants to in the evening if i was you.
agree to everyone who suggested wind/colic - ds had it and screamed the house down every night for about three hours, from 3 weeks old to 12 weeks old. it was horrendous and you have my sympathy. but i think we could've made it much easier on ourselves (and him!) earlier by recognising that it was wind - try infacol (if you can get it in india) before feeds, wind him like mad between/after feeds and dont underestimate how long it takes to get it up. baby massage helped massively, there were a couple of moves that im sure you can find on google but essentially slowly bicycling his legs in towards his stomach seemed to really soothe him and help his digestion good luck!

Don't put him in his moses basket until 9pm then. Just keep him with you and feed him.

Thanks, I have tried a dummy but he rejects it 80% of the time. He has a baby massage by an indian lady every day at 5pm which he loves, but swaddling is not for him, so I just half swaddle him. My doctor has given me an Indian colic aid but its not really working. I'm just finding that he only falls asleep at the end of the day after the crying all evening and then he conks out either on my breast between 9 and 10pm or lying face down on my chest. He is now 5 weeks, am I being too hard on him expecting him to fall asleep on his own without my help? I am worried about him never being able to sleep without these props but I guess this is the colic so I am hoping will just resolve itself after 2/3 months. I think I've been reading too many baby books! They all say don't feed your baby to sleep or let him sleep on your chest, but how else do you do it if he has colic and is crying?

bin the books, let him sleep on you if thats' what he needs
you are doing fine

Oh, poor Monsy. I suspect you have indeed been reading too many baby books! Go and hide them for a few months. DD used to feed 5-10 pm - I used to just keep swapping sides until she conked out and didn't latch on any more. Once we realised this is what she need, we just worked around it - dh would bring my dinner, and I'd eat one handed, read books, watched tv - remember it quite fondly. I did sometimes hand her over to DH for half an hour or so while I had a bath. She fed to sleep (and was capable of waking up and going back to sleep on her own just fine) until she was about 7 months old when she stopped of her own accord. Don't worry about the "props" and "falling asleep alone" for a good while yet - it's much easier when they're older, more confident, and beginning to understand what happens and even what you're saying.

You arer being far too harsh on him, expecting him to fall asleep on his own. I am no hippy, I always advocate a mother to put a child down on his own to sleep, I don't co sleep, but 5 weeks old is no age at all. He barely even knows he's not one of your limbs. When you leave the room, he doesn't know where you have gone and he doesn't know if you are coming back ever.

Cuddle him, cuddle him to sleep because when he is 5, and his problems are bigger that you can fix, you will wish yourself back to the time when you could fix it all with your arms.

about 5 months old is the time to be more strict with a routine, not now, it's far too soon. Cuddling isn't a prop, it['s a biological need that a baby has, and babies that are never held fail to thrive - it is a real need, not just your baby being fussy. It's as valid as needing to be fed - which at that time of night he probably needs that too.

Thank you, thats reassuring to hear, I can relax now. Its quite hard out here with no support network, not having a clue what i'm doing! Will chuck the books away...

My 5 month old dd was the same. I could set my watch by her. 7pm until 9 she was very fussy and crying. Feeding and swaying helped a lot. I think she just wanted comfort and probably had a bit of gas as well. Husband has now got a wonderful repertoire of songs that he marches her up and down to. She is still very tricksy at sleeping during the day- point blank refusal but it is becoming easier. Those first few months are real tough but it will get better and you will become a great little team. Chin up.