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Baby not settling at nursery

3 replies

Flora0112 · 22/09/2025 10:49

My DD is 8 months old and is due to go to nursery full time in 2 weeks time. for the last month shes been doing settling in sessions 3x a week which have been disastrous. she won't get off me to hand her over and when she is left she cries non stop, hyperventilates and bes sick till the ring me to pick her up when I pick her up she continues to cry for n hour after. nothing settles her. its really affecting me as I also keep crying in evenings. I feel such a bad mum. I didn't think she'd be like this shes so happy and smiley and goes to anyone but nursery nope. sje will be going 5 full days a week which several people in baby groups and my MIL think is ridiculous but work won't let me drop a day as j work inHE and we just made 200 people redundant and im only manager left fir my team. I love my job too so want to continue working. we also have no family near us so shes never been baby sat or had time away from me. my husbands been away for stags etc but I e not even been for a drink out. my in-laws live ab hour away but my MIL hates coming yo thr city and my husbands brother had a baby 10 weeks after us and they live next door to his parents and get babysitting every day and his mums retiring yo look after their baby when they go back to work. we get nothing. so I feel bad its been us 3 but I have no other choice.
I'm really scared she won't settle as its been a month ans shell do no more than half hour.
anyone had any experience with separation anxiety at 8/9 months and do they settle in nursery? she's also developed a dislike to loud noises and hates baby classes we've been going to and we go to lots of rugby and football games so worried this will now be a problem.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BunnyRuddington · 22/09/2025 20:26

It does sound really difficult and I don’t really have any suggestions for you.

Hopefully this will bump for the evening crowd for yoi and you’ll get some responses Flowers

jetlag92 · 23/09/2025 07:44

8/9 months is the absolute worst time for separation anxiety.

I don't think she will settle now at that settling, given that she's now become used to associating it with being really upset. You have to just bite the bullet the next time you try and go cold turkey as they do eventually get used to it.

Could your husband do shared maternity leave for a couple of months until she's a bit older? Could you go back on maternity leave until she's a bit older?

Otherwise, I'd try and find a childminder or just take the hit on a nanny until she's 12 months.

BunnyRuddington · 24/09/2025 19:15

I do agree with jetlag. Unfortunately this is peak time for separation anxiety.

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