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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

7 year old, sleep issues cropping up...what do I do???

17 replies

squilly · 02/06/2008 13:45

Our dd has slept through since she was about 2 weeks old (certainly not much more!) and we've never had problems with the sleep thing.

This last few weeks, though, she's started to say that she has trouble getting to sleep...that it takes her 3 hours! I think she's now got this in her head and it's starting to happen (self actualisation I think they call it!).

At the weekend we foolishly let her watch Dr Who (darn you Steven Moffat and Russel T Davies). It was a bit scary, so we half expected this, but she got up a few times in the night to say she could hear noises.

The same thing happened on Sunday night and now she's had less than 10 hours sleep before a school day. She looks knackered this morning.

My question is, how I help her? What can I say? Should I be sympathetic, or am I making things worse by pandering to her whims?

As a toddler I'd have marched her off to bed, the quick return method. That doesn't really seem appropriate for a 7yo, but am I just losing perspective here?

Any tips/hints/advice appreciated!
Ta.

OP posts:

Original poster

squilly · 03/06/2008 10:38

If I slag off SAHMs/WOHMs/Middle class/upper class/working class mums or start picking bits out of 4 wheel drive car users, smokers, drug takers, will I get a response here?

I thought this was a support board??? But it seems that I have more chance of getting a reply if I slag someone off.

I'm off to have a think about who to attack so I don't feel so lonely.

Then I might post on AIBU with a link...perhaps that'll work??

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xserialshopper · 03/06/2008 10:43

Hi. My son watch Dr Who and he was scared and starting having sleep issues. He always slept through before this. What I did was 1. Left the light on in the landing with his bedroom door half open 2. Kept on reminding him that Dr Who isn't real and is just a programme for entertainment (in age appropriate language of course. My ds was 5 at the time (now 6). It took a couple of weeks but then everything went back to normal.

So...... I would do whatever it takes to restore nightime confidence in your dd and keep on pointing out that Dr Who isn't real.

Hope this helps even a little

dylsmum1998 · 03/06/2008 10:45

doe she read to herself-= if so you could try what i did with my ds, he would go to bed and have his light on to read, he would then fall asleep reading it could take over an hour some nights. and gradually reduce the time the light is on for.
so now he'll go to bed at 8.30- read til 9 when i go in and switch off the light then he's usually asleep by half 9 the latest.
the other end of the scale perhaps wake her up early say by 7am. she'll be tired for the first few days and possibly a bit cranky. but hopefully will be so tired by bedtime she'll sleep quicker

Notquitegrownup · 03/06/2008 10:50

DS1 goes through phases of this too, not helped by the occasionally extra scary Dr Who. I agree about the self actualisation thingie. Once you are convinced that you are going to have trouble getting off to sleep then you will.

DS1 is an intense little person too, who goes through phases of taking everything too seriously, and his mind is too active at bedtime (no matter how much exercise he gets in the day.)

When he has trouble getting off to sleep, we calm things down for him. He has a long warm bath, rather than a quick shower. I check that he is reading something not too exciting - we had a problem when reading exciting books at bedtime! He has to put his light out earlier than usual, and if he is having trouble relaxing, I give him a simple alphabet list to think about, so that his mind is occupied with something banal - so 26 things to take on holiday, one with each letter of the alphabet (but you can skip q, x,y and z - it's not a test!)

We also record Dr Who to watch the next day, rather than watching it at bedtime.

HTH

soapbox · 03/06/2008 10:52

A head massage (10-15mins) with the lights dimmed always works on my DCs.

I think at this age you need to be reassuring and not fierce

Original poster

squilly · 03/06/2008 10:53

Thank you so much for your responses. I was getting despearte.

Xerialshopper....I like the idea of giving her a light source. She has wall lights, but she doesn't like light in her room at night (how ironic is that?).

The option of light would be good though, so I think we'll give her a torch to use.

I think it was the walking skeleton freaked her out the most and I'll talk to her about that tonight, explain it's not real! It's odd because she's never been bothered by the Dr Who thing before.

I like the idea of telling her she can read if she wants to dylsmum. She is a real stickler for the rules so the door closes at 8 and she wouldn't think to put on her light and read. So that's the next step. Give her a bit of autonomy about the light.

I think I will wake her up nice and early too from now on.

Thanks again for the responses. SO appreciated!

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Original poster

squilly · 03/06/2008 10:58

I was being fierce soapbox...not nice mummy...so I think we'll have to chat about that too. She won't go for head massages, sadly. We tried baby massage when she was little and she said it tickles. Her dad loves his head being massaged but she thinks it's 'yuk'! Kids, ah??

Notquitegrownup, we haven't been reading with dd before bed for a while, though we did it religiously from being a baby til the last few months, so I think it's time to bring that back.

I confess, we always record Dr Who, but I made the dumb mistake of letting her watch it, thinking it'd be o.k. I think we'll have to let her watch the next episode, so she can put her mind at rest. Darn those cliffhangers!!! They always get me too, so I should have known better. DOH!

Thanks for the advice ladies....at least now I know where to start!

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dylsmum1998 · 03/06/2008 11:00

hope it works - have to confess i'm 27 and doc who still gets me worked up before bed! always have ridiculous nightmares

xserialshopper · 03/06/2008 11:00

Your welcome!

I remember being scared of the Darlicks(sp?) for years(infact I probably still am )

flossiefumble · 03/06/2008 11:03

Message withdrawn

Original poster

squilly · 03/06/2008 11:16

Dylsmum, I'm considerably older than 27 and I have a book upstairs that I've half read, but can't finish, because it was giving me nightmares. I'm led to believe it's due to fantastic powers of imagination, so you have to see that as an upside!

The same applies to your dd flossiefumble. She must have a phenomenal imagination, which can only be good. It's just a shame that we can't somehow soundproof their minds against the nightmares and terrors. We too are avoiding Harry Potter movies for now. Perhaps in a few years we can try them again...

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flossiefumble · 03/06/2008 11:21

Message withdrawn

dylsmum1998 · 03/06/2008 11:23

ah so i'm an imaginative person - not a big baby as my family suggest

my ds has only recently watched the first Harry Potter he's 9 now. i remember all the school mums being amazed that i wouldnt let him watch it when he was 5.
he isnt as sensitive now as he was then so he does like to watch dr who, although we can now only do this if dd is in bed/at her dads as she has started to get very upset by what she sees on tv, not just dr who but anything with conflict in (she's 2). and my sil the other day when i said we dont watch dr who etc when she's awake was amazed and saw it as me letting her control the tv!
she thinks its mad because her children have always watched things like that from birth and arent fazed by it, she cant understand why mine are

flossiefumble · 03/06/2008 11:27

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Original poster

squilly · 03/06/2008 11:32

Snap Flossiefumble. I'm a crumbly 43 year old too and equally can't watch horror stories without nightmares. And I rememebr being terrified of the old Dr Who music...hiding behind the sofa when it came on...terrifying.

And Dylsmum...I like my definition of our condition better than your families. It's more positive and imo more accurate!!!

Ah bless your dd...how sharp must she be to pick up on conflict already. Very emotionally intelligent. You must be really proud of her.

And your SIL's view on tv doesn't match mine at all. My dd has always watched kids tv that's age appropriate. She's 7 now and watches very little adult tv. Dr Who is probably the only 'adult' show she wathces.

I know Child of our Time said that kids aren't adversely affected by watching adult shows because they view them from a child's perspective and don't understand adult issues/emotions but I'd still rather not risk getting my girl old before her time.

I think you do the right thing dylsmum in controlling your dd's tv consumption. That's a totally responsible thing to do imo.

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Original poster

squilly · 03/06/2008 11:33

Flossiefumble, we are equally soap-unfriendly in our house. Too much conflict and negativity in my view. Not for family consumption!!

OP posts:

dylsmum1998 · 03/06/2008 11:44

i dont like children seeing soaps/grown up programmes either as you say too much in them children dont need to know about.
my dc get excited at this time of year as spring watch is on- ds loved it last year and now dd is equally fascinated- i was very releived when we had boiled eggs after watching it that she didnt try to sit on them

much like your ideas of our condition. dd is very bright as is ds so will use your analysis next time something is said along this subject(and i'm sure it will be its not the first time things have been said about my tv limiting!)

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