4-year old chewing fingers, nails, lips, clothes

[AussieManque]

For the last year or so my son has been constantly putting things in his mouth. First it was shirt collars and sleeves, to save his clothes we got him silicone chew necklaces but they got irritating as he'd speak with the necklace in his mouth. Then nail biting, now it's chewing skin off his knuckles to the point he removes the whole layer of skin, chewing any scabs he can reach, or chewing the inside of his lips till he draws blood. We still sometimes give him the necklace but not every day.

Teacher has advised getting it checked out. We're looking into occupational therapy (can go private) but just wondering if anyone has any advice/experience/ key things I should bring up.

I was a thumb sucker and nail biter but somehow what he does seems worse as he's hurting himself. In my day no one would have said it was "sensory seeking", just a "habit" (not sure what the difference is to be honest, at some point does the seeking become a habit?) but it seems OT would be addressing potential retained primitive reflexes or sensory processing disorders, all sounds quite serious and drawn out requiring potentially 3-6 months of therapy (he hasn't had the assessment yet).

He seems to be an otherwise "normal" child, very high energy but par for the course at his age.

Sounds like Pica

Give him the chewbuddy back!

That's not pica if it was pica he'd be eating the clothes not chewing them.

OP, I mean this kindly, give him the necklace back and support his sensory seeking. You’re fighting against his needs and making life more difficult for him because of what seem to be very old fashioned views. Your child may be neurodivergent, there may be other signs and things going on that will become more obvious in the coming years. But whatever the situation, I’d urge you to work with and not against his needs.
There are other things you can try too, to give him that sensory input. An OT could help, and there’s also a wealth of info out there, different things to try.

My child chewed the neck of his t-shirts at that age. Every one eas ruined. I was trying to stop him when a child physiotherapist friend told me to stop. She said let him chew.

Give him his necklace back to save his hands. My son stopped chewing at about 5. Your child does sound more serious ( we never had chewed fingers) so I would also look for help.

But I'd let them chew the necklace till you get a better plan.

My two both did the coat-collar-chewing thing between the ages of about 3 and 6. No chance of ever passing those coats on to someone else, they were all ruined! Then my daughter went through a phase of constant lip licking for a couple of years, and had really chapped lips in the winter as a result, and even got impetigo one year. She did have a silicone necklace for a while, but wasn't too bothered about it. I'm pleased to say they both grew out of it seemingly spontaneously, with no intervention from us. My son also went through a phase of picking his nails right down to painful lengths, thankfully that didn't last long either.

Neither of my kids has an ND diagnosis.

I wouldn't worry about it too much OP, hopefully your son will also just stop. Let him have the necklace in the meantime though, so he has somewhere to direct it.

I would get it dealt with if it was my child.

I pull my hair out and have done for decades now. I also do other more mild picking, nails etc but hair pulling is my thing. It started as a child I think as a way of regulating feelings, a kind of nervous behaviours. As an adult, I’m otherwise ok, no MH issues, good job etc but I do it when I’m under pressure, worried, lonely etc. The behaviour significantly impacts me and is v hard to disguise when I’m going through an anxious patch (as I am now).

Whilst some grow out of it, many of these kind of body focussed repetitive behaviours don’t just disappear. Skin picking and chewing also risks infection. It needs dealing with and getting support, alternatives healthy habits instilled.

I really wish mine was dealt with when I was young!

P.s. definitely give him the necklace back!!!

Definitely give him the chew buddy back. I wish they had had things like that when dd2 was young- so many ruined school jumpers! Dd3 also does it but she is much younger and has fidget toys and also does origami and crocheting (she's 17). They both also do the lip licking until their lips are chapped and bleeding and used to walk on tip toes. Dd3 is being assessed for adhd but I think she is probably audhd.

How old is he @AussieManque? Is he 4, 4.5 or nearer to 5?

When did you last manage to munch down a piece of fabric?

Try a good quality kids multi in case it's pica.

4y3m. This started about 1 year ago at 3y3m.

He has been taking good multivitamins and probiotics for two years.

Thanks for answering the age question. I just wanted to link age appropriate assessment forms for you

How does he score on these two:

4 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages

and the 4 year Ages & Stages?