Almost every night that I put my daughter to bed is a struggle. Getting her to her room is hard work. She refuses to choose a story but doesn't want one that I pick. She doesn't want to put pajamas on by herself but doesn't want help doing it. Often she wants another story or she'll suddenly decide she wants milk before bed (which she hasn't had for months). Or she'll refuse to lie down but shout that I have to stay if I say that it's OK but I'm going now. Usually it escalates to the point that she's crying and screaming. I've tried staying with her and offering a cuddle to help her calm down. I've tried leaving the room and saying I'll come back when she has calmed down. Ive got so frustrated i've raised my voice at her in an attempt to get through to her. It hasnt. Occasionally DH will go in and tell her off or tell her to calm down. (He says he isn't shouting at her but it does sound awfully close tbh.) Nothing seems to make any difference. Eventually she will calm down and we'll have a hug and she'll lie straight down and go to sleep.
I really need some advice at what to do. It's not helped when I finally get downstairs and she is settled. And then I'll have DH telling me he never has a problem putting her to sleep like I do and it seems like I never have a good bedtime with her.
So please can you advise me where I am going wrong? She has slept in her own room since she was a few months old; has never shared our bed and I have never stayed in her room and waited for her to fall asleep. Once she has stopped amd calmed down she never needs me to go in during the night unless she needs to get up for a wee. She has a nightlight and a consistent bedtime routine.
Any help gratefully received.