Hello everyone,
I’m feeling quite anxious and a bit at a loss about how to handle my youngest at the moment, and I’d really appreciate some advice or reassurance.
I have two boys — my eldest is 3 and a half (nearly 4) and my youngest is 20 months. My youngest is very physical, rough and tumble, and when he’s frustrated or overstimulated he tends to lash out by biting, scratching, or pulling hair. Often it’s when he wants what his brother has, or when he feels left out. I do understand this is his way of communicating for now, but it’s becoming really difficult.
At nursery, I’m told almost every day that he has bitten or scratched another child, and this has been going on for some time. Today they told me he bit two children and scratched them as well. They’ve now decided to split the children into two groups so that he can be managed in a smaller group, but they’ve also said they can’t keep him apart all of the time. I don’t really know how to feel about this — part of me understands, but part of me worries he’s being singled out.
At home, when he hurts his brother, we comfort the older one and tell my youngest, “no, that wasn’t kind, we are kind to others.” But honestly, I’m not sure what else to do beyond this.
What makes it harder is that I feel the nursery staff don’t really like him. The way they speak to him (and to me) feels quite cold and when they tell me about his behaviour, it’s often in front of the other parents. I find this really embarrassing and it leaves me feeling anxious and unsure what to say other than “okay, thank you.”
I suppose what I’m asking is:
Has anyone else dealt with a toddler who bites and scratches like this?
How did you help them through it?
And how do you cope with feeling judged by nursery staff or other parents?
Thank you if you’ve read this far — I just want to do right by my little boy and help him through this stage