Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

is sending a 4.75yr old ds1 to bed early a suitable punishment?

20 replies

oops · 31/05/2008 21:35

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
jingleyjen · 31/05/2008 21:38

tonight. DS1 was a complete PITA he moaned all afternoon, shouted and was rude to his dad and I and pushed his brother.
During meal time he picked up his bowl and threw his food across the kitchen so I sent him to his room. (5.45pm)

we finished our meal. I went up to talk to him and he was fast asleep. has been ever since..

I think early bed isn't a bad option.

soapbox · 31/05/2008 21:38

No - bed time might be hours away. Punishment needs to fit the crime and be immediate at this age.

He's far too young for this kind of punishment.

thehouseofmirth · 31/05/2008 21:43

Also you probably don't really want him to associate bed with punishment if you don't want future sleep problems or reluctance to go to bed...

deanychip · 31/05/2008 21:48

i think that it is the right thing to do.
I think this because with my boy when he is behaving like a monster it is usually because he is tired (or brewing an illness)
i have sent him to his room 2 times before and both times he has been fast asleep when i have gone to see him, proving that sleep is what he needs. This proves to me that this is what he needs.

I bed that tomorow he has no recolection (unles you mntion it) that he was sent to bed early.
I tend to leave well alone and not mention the previous days events again...unless he brings it up.

i think that you did the right thing personally

deanychip · 31/05/2008 21:51

To keep him there i have just demonstrated that i am actually hopping angry with him and so he dare not show his faace...this is done with tone of voice and sterness of actions.

When i say "early" to bed, like another poster says, my boys bedtime is 7.30...i have sent him at maybe 6.45 ish so not early early.

Elibean · 01/06/2008 14:16

I wouldn't use bed as punishment, so that bed remains a pleasure - and I wouldn't send dd to bed on her own (if you mean no one to tuck her in etc) regardless, but if you think he's misbehaving out of tiredness then early bed is probably a good idea anyway - separate to consequence for behaviour.

Agree with soapbox, really...think clear boundaries and simple, instant consequences (and plenty of trying to work out why they're behaving badly and then addressing that) more suited to this age.

Elibean · 01/06/2008 14:17

Though deanychip's version sounds ok

FrannyandZooey · 01/06/2008 14:24

I think whatever happens, bedtime should be an oasis of peace and love, IMO
a child finishing their day by having to go to bed early and on their own because you are cross with them is a bit of a sad thought, don't you think? And not very inspiring to them to be more amenable the next day
if ds is mucking about at bedtime so that we can't GET him to bed then we point out that there will not be time for the usual games and stories - but he still gets tucked in and a cuddle whatever else has happened that day

TheProvincialLady · 01/06/2008 14:26

Bed as punishment = resentment and worry at bedtime, leading to sleep problems. That is from my personal recollection and experience as a child.

Madlentileater · 01/06/2008 14:31

' Oh dear, you are being a bit naughty/silly aren't you? D'you know what, i think it's because you are really tired. I think you should go and have some quiet time in your room and then come down when you have had a bit of a rest and feel more like playing nicely'
Or, if it's a particular instance of bad behaviour
'That was VERY unkind and you have hurt your DB. So I'm going to (insert short sharp shock type punsihment, eg turn off your favourite DVD) for five minutes while yu think about what you did. Than you can say sorry to DB' and then it's all over.
Bedtime shoud be an oasis of peace and love as F&Z says

HonoriaGlossop · 01/06/2008 15:28

franny has saved me the trouble - was going to say that almost exactly!

Bedtime is just bedtime IMO, not a sanction.

FrannyandZooey · 01/06/2008 15:45

"Oh dear, you are being a bit naughty/silly aren't you? D'you know what, i think it's because you are really tired."

for about 30 secs I thought you were addressing the OP there, Madlentileater

purpleduck · 01/06/2008 15:57

Agree with Franny on the oasis thingy/ whatsit. We have never used that as a punishment.

Hopeysgirlwasntbig · 01/06/2008 15:57

"Oh dear, you are being a bit naughty/silly aren't you? D'you know what, i think it's because you are really tired."

I also thought this was to the OP!!

BUT

That was a naughty/silly thing to do is a far better way of putting it.

Have to be careful not to create a self fulfilling prophecy with children, I'm called naughty therefore I must be, so I will be etc..

Madlentileater · 01/06/2008 16:48

In general I would agree with you Hopey, but my intention was to describe a whole succession of naughty/silly things done, hence child is actually being a bit naughty/silly at the moment (due, no doubt to tiredness....)
hope I didn't offend the OP!

oops · 01/06/2008 20:36

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
FrannyandZooey · 01/06/2008 20:38

I didn't think it was your idea oops

I would just tell him that it's very likely you'll start getting bother at bedtime, eg not wanting to go to bed, getting up and coming downstairs etc, if you use bed as a punishment

oops · 01/06/2008 21:04

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Othersideofthechannel · 02/06/2008 05:58

I recognise the jumping around at bedtime thing.

Have you tried putting them to bed later when they have had a nap?

When DCs fall asleep at the end of the afternoon after a day out, we let them play later. If only one falls asleep in the daytime, they go to bed a different times.

Othersideofthechannel · 02/06/2008 06:03

Oh, and I put DS to bed early when his behaviour is like that described in JingleyJen's post.

But I don't send him to his room, I take him up in the usual way, explaining that a boy who is tired enough to throw his food really need to go to bed straight away. He is usually a bit cross and then by the time we have brushed teeth etc he is really grateful to be going to bed when he needs to so we still get the snuggles and kisses.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page