I’m having such mixed feelings about my son starting reception this week.
He’s recently turned 4 years. Started being a handful around 18 months old - developing “big feelings” which have only gotten worse. Turned into hitting, kicking, striking us with toys and the occasional bite (more his dad than me).
We’ve been under the HV and referred for an autism assessment which was declined, as school have never witnessed this behaviour. He’s always described as very pleasant at school when playing with his friends, mixes well and is otherwise reserved.
He’s been at holiday club 5 days a week over the summer, but when he’s home over the weekend he’s a NIGHTMARE, and I dread having him around.
One minute he’ll be giving me a cuddle and telling me he loves me, then at bedtime (like tonight) I’m sat reading a story with him and his sister. I asked her to count some numbers on the page at which he shouts no and hits her (because he wanted to do it).
I tried explaining to him for several minutes that I wanted his sister to try first as she struggles with numbers, which his response was to argue with me whilst rolling around on his back kicking me with his legs.
I gave up and asked his sister to move over to me and I read her a different book, trying to ignore his behaviour. He continued kicking me. I told him no. He then noticed his baby sister behind him innocently sat playing with toys. He took a fairy wand and proceeded to start jabbing her in the legs, I again patiently asked him to stop. He then keeps doing it whilst looking to see if I’m watching, and I lost my patience completely,
what am I doing wrong? I constantly try to keep my cool, reward good behaviour, divert, I’ve tried it all! He gets bored easily of behaviour charts so they don’t work.
Ive even tried doing deep breathing exercises the last few weeks which he stubbornly refuses to do more often than not. So I’ve tried switching it up and showing how annoyed I am then asking what I should do, he explains that I need to take deep breaths so he knows full well what to do, but just seems utterly incapable of regulating himself or wanting to.
Im lying on my bed after put down, feeling completely at a loss. When he’s in a good mood, he’s the most beautiful child to be around. But forbid he’s the slightest bit tired (definitely one of his triggers), he’s absolutely vile.
i suppose I’m not looking for advice per se, but someone who has been through this and come out the other side. I desperately need to know there’s light at the end of the tunnel because I can’t live in fear of my weekends when I know his wrath will continue.