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toddler hitting her baby brother - help!

3 replies

splodgygirl · 31/05/2008 12:22

We're stuck on this one. Our DD (2) had no obvious problems when her brother first arrived. He is now 8months old and over the past month/ 2months she's begun to hit him. What's confusing is that she'll do it randomly (i.e. not when I'm playing with him or together) but they'll be doing their own thing, she'll walk up to him and start repeatedly hitting/slapping him round the face, sometimes using a toy. We started dealing with the aggression by removing her from the situation and telling her 'no hitting/ we don't hit in this family' etc etc. Then we started using a time out chair. Now neither of those work. She doesn't pay attention to our words, she'll sit on the chair for just a moment and then start saying sorry to me and her brother and then jump off without a care in the world - as if she has the whole routine sussed. The hitting is unnacceptable and can't go on - and it's definitely escalating, I feel upset for my DS who she might end up hurting soon, and I feel for her as she must be going through some dificult feelings. I just don't know how to stop this behaviour, help her and help DS who today flinched as she came near him. My DH wants to get firmer and take a more hardline approach. We're both agreed on the no smacking policy so I don't know what he's thinking. And I'm frustrated with myself as I took the decision to give up work and stay at home with the kids 'til they were both ready for nursery. Bewtween them they have ALL of me. My DD gets loads of quality attention from me, DH and grandparents so I honestly can't put it down to the fact that she's feeling DS is taking over. Any advice truly appreciated.

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dashboardconfessionals · 31/05/2008 12:48

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cory · 31/05/2008 13:17

I would carry on doing the same things you are doing and just accept that it will take time. Oh, and make sure they are not left alone together. I put a lock on baby brother's door at this stage so I could go to the loo without worrying about him being murdered.

Don't worry about her seeming unrepetentant or not paying attention to your words, you are not going to achieve conversion in one attempt. As dashboard says, it's about being consistent and sitting it out.

splodgygirl · 31/05/2008 18:02

thanks for your replies dashboard & cory. It's a relief to know this behaviour is normal-ish. We'll carry on with our approach and see where we get.

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