Help my ds WILL NOT eat anything at kindergarden....

[sannie]

Hi,

My ds is 2.1 and has been going to kindergarden 3 mornings a week from 8.30-1 since last October. He is supposed to have breakfast and lunch there.....

He normally eats OK at home...sometimes he refuses meals but most of the time he eats up although he is a bit picky and only likes certain things.

Ever since he started we have had an issue with food. He wouldn't eat anything in the beginning so, at their suggestion, we started giving him his breakfast at home. He continued not to eat the lunches either - they suggested that I not give him anything to eat once we got home so that he would learn that he had to eat there or go hungry. Against my judgement, I did try this but it just meant that my ds was hungry and upset so I decided not to cook for him, but to provide a sandwhich etc.

This continued and then the people at the kindergaden suggested that I provide a lunch to see if ds would eat that. As I said, he is a bit picky so maybe he didn't like their food (although he was turning his nose up at fish fingers when they cooked them which he always loves at home).

So, I started to provide a lunch - usually pasta pesto as this is his favourite and something they can easily reheat. We went through a few weeks of him sometimes picking at it and then times when he would eat everything. Great!!! We thought the problem was solved. At this point, as they always give the kids their lunch quite early, I started letting my ds have a snack when he was collected.

For the last few months my ds has eaten nothing at all at kg. Even when I pack his favourite meals at home he won't touch them. Apparently he is always the first to the table but just plays with his food. I know he is hungry when I collect him as the first thing he says to me when I collect him is that he wants something to eat.

I am at a loss as to what I should do now as are the people at kg. I want him to learn that he should sit down and eat his dinner outside of home. At the moment, I am sending a snack (usually his favourite a bannana) so that he still gets the chance to do this although he is not eating this and then cooking for him when we get home. I have cut out the snack when I collect him.

I am not happy with this as he needs to learn to eat when he is there. I feel that this is going to turn into a real problem as he will need to eat when he goes to school etc.....

Sorry for the long rambling post. I am really worried aboout this and don't know what to do. Is there anyone else out there who has experienced something similar with their dc's?

Thanks

Hi,

Sounds to me like your child isn't enjoying the Kindergarten and this is his way of telling you.

Does he do this round a friends or at grandparents?

I would suggest you or the KG provide full fat milk, this will stop him going hungry and then try not to draw attention to what he is doing. I know this is easier said than done, but the more you and the staff show your concern the more your son will do this for attention.

Alternatively maybe you could consider another type of childcare, as a KG isn't for everyone and this may include your son. I assume that before the KG you were with your son at home, maybe you might like to consider a registered childminder this would give him a more homely atmosphere. See www.childcarelink.gov.uk/

Hope this helps, goodluck

ohI feel your pain - we had exactly this situation with DS. He wouldn't eat lunch for nearly three months and had me all over the place with the should I feed him cause he's starving or try and teach him that he needs to have lunch there etc. Our nursery suggested we took in a plate from home which I think made a slight difference but the crunch came when I said that all he had to do was taste it, just one taste - if you like it great, if not, just leave it. my laptop keeps crashing so I'll do this in 2 blocks......

back ! Then, I told him that if he tasted something, we would go straight to the book shop and get this book he really wanted - wasn't over enthusiastic about it, just kept reminding him that that is what we would do. Quite matter of fact - and didn't say 'if you eat' it was always 'when you eat' to make it a given. And about a week later, I went to pick him up and there was practically a carnival going on cause he had eaten a plate of pasta! My DS was 2.8 when that started - I certainly don't think that it was because he was unhappy there. They told me that this isn't uncommon and to be honest it is entirely in keeping with his personality; he likes to wait and wait and wait before he tries something new. So, please do take heart. It will get better - I, like you, didn't want to collude in the 'it's ok to miss lunch there and I'll give you something later' thing. So I let him take one of those Ella's smoothies in with him to have when he wanted and then he would have a boring marmite sandwich before naptime and that was it.

I know how frustrating and worrying this is but we're now at the 'I had second helpings today Mummy' stage now so please do believe it will happen.

thanks for the rplies...

is it better for us to keep trying with lunch there then or should i just try with a snack there and give proper lunch at home?

we live in away from all family so i am unable to see what his behaviour would be.

i fear we (I) have already made a huge deal of it and my ds certainly knows it upsets me when he doesn't eat there.

tbh i hadn't thought it might be because he doesn't enjoy the kg - he plays well there and always wants to go....