4 Year Old Behaviour Towards Sibling

[FAlfie15]

My 4.5 yo son really struggles with his behaviour around his sibling (2 year old son). His behaviour and mood is great if he is just by himself such as when brother is napping but as soon as brother is there his mood becomes horrible (unkind words, throwing, unkind hands, not sharing toy, shouting, etc). It has been going on since brother was born but I thought 2 years on things may have changed but they rarely do!

Any advice on ways to try and work through this please?

Oh, that's very difficult! I think I'd take a bit of multi-pronged approach:

Any tiny bit of nice (or even neutral) behaviour towards little brother, praise it.

On the flip side, a calm, consistent consequence for hitting, throwing, etc. There obviously needs to be a consequence, but you don't want it to be a way to get attention.

Facilitate 'nearby' play, so for example they both play with blocks, but each have their own pile and space. You might need to be quite active in keeping it separate at first. Again praise good/neutral 'playing together'.

When you can't facilitate their play, they may need separate spaces for now, even if that's within the same room.

Does little brother tend to suck up a lot of attention? Babies and toddlers can do that, you need eyes in the back of your head. How does little one tend to interact with big brother and his toys?