13 y/o with Autism - not sure how to keep going

[Anon999]

As above, our DD was diagnosed earlier this year after many years of concerns. We are broken. She fits the profile of PDA but it’s not officially diagnosed where we live. We are living with almost daily physical and verbal abuse towards us (me, DH and her younger sister). She tried to strangle me tonight. She is on 100mg Sertraline to reduce school related anxiety but it seems to have done nothing. She misses at least 1 or 2 days of school a week. I am scared for her future. I am scared for her sister who is increasingly traumatised by what she sees at home. I suspect she has ADHD too but not yet diagnosed. I had no idea life would be like this and I’m so sad. She is under CAHMS but they don’t seem to get it. I don’t know why I’m posting, or even if this is the right topic. But I know I am broken.

It is fine to post on this topic @Anon999but you may get better support in the SN Teens section.

I have one who is diagnosed as AuDHD and it is hard although we didn’t get much physical violence. Lots of verbal and school refusal though.

What has school put in place for her and hpw is her sleep?

Has she got an ehcp? Maybe request EOTAS (education other than at school) as it seems school is causing a lot of issues

How are you today @Anon999?

Does DD have an EHCP? What support is the school providing?

If DD isn’t able to attend school full time, is alternative provision in place?

If your area still has them, has the school approached the specialist teaching service?

Has DD had an OT assessment, including a sensory OT assessment?

What support is DD receiving via CAMHS? What have they already tried but hasn’t worked?

We are in Scotland so I don’t know if we have an EHCP here? The school are supportive but I hear there are resources for school refusers that we’ve not yet had access to.

We had an awful night on Wednesday,
my husband and I are on the verge of splitting up and living separately. It’s not fair to my youngest to be witnessing so much trauma and turmoil.

@flawlessflipperI don’t know is the honest answer, in the past we had approached OT but they said they couldn’t help. I feel like we’ve been passed from pillar to post and unsure of what help is actually available to us

Better, thank you. We had a CAMHS appointment today that seemed to go well, but then afterwards my daughter confessed that she was agreeing to things to make the conversation stop. I’m hoping that she still took some of it on board and we can try something a little different in terms of her evening routine.

OT can help. For example, they can help with sensory needs and emotional regulation.

However, NHS offer can be limited. Not all areas offer sensory OT on the NHS. If you can afford it, an independent assessment could help. It is possible to get it via the education side of things but that will take time.

For education, have a look at Enquire. They are a Scottish charity who have lots of information on their website, including information on education for those unable to attend school, and an advice line. EHCPs don't exist in Scotland, but the local authority still has a duty to provide alternative arrangements if DD is unable to attend school.