Is there any reason why a nearly-6-year-old should suddenly start wetting the bed?

[imaginaryfriend]

My dd is 6 in October and since she was potty trained just after 2 she became dry at night. She hasn't had a nappy on at night since 2 1/2 and has always been completely dry.

Last month she wet the bed 4 times - two with enormous wees which drenched everything and two she woke just after they started and finished on the toilet. Then she became dry again. But she's wet herself again the last 2 nights, both times woken up half way through so not too drastic.

She doesn't have a urine infection as she's had them before and that's caused an urgent need to go even with little in her bladder. These are big wees. And she has fine bladder control in the day.

I haven't changed the amount she drinks in the evening and I can't think of anything in particular that might be troubling her except she's been less keen on school than before. But she's been on half term this week in any case.

Any similar experiences / ideas?

Have there been any changes in your life recently? I wondered as well whether not being so keen on school had any significance?

I'm absolutely pants at extracting info from my DC, they just tell me what they think I want to hear. Regardles I would be tempted to maybe get a few bullying type books out of the library and have those as the bedtime story - e.g. the Angel of Nitshill Road, and maybe talk about the story a bit, wasn't X a horrible boy, and why do you think Y didn't tell the teachers, and see if dd has any concerns.

I'm actually really envious as it took until they were aged 7 for my PSB to stay dry overnight - thank goodness for Dri Nites .

Good luck

I don't think there have been any changes. I mean other than that she's changing herself all the time. She's become a lot more strident and bossy but at the same time dissolves into weepy hysteria over next to nothing. But all her friends seem to be doing the same thing so that might be just developmental.

Is wetting the bed suddenly always a sign of insecurity in some way do you think?

It sounds as if something's up: why not ask her to draw a picture of school: what makes her happy there and what makes her less happy? IME being off school gives time for reflection on causes of anxiety and sometimes magnifies them. I've had a 7 year old dissolve into tears in the middle of August about school.

Also, bossiness might be a reflection of feeling out of control socially ie not able to negotiate, having to dictate etc

good luck

For the two weeks before half term she was very reluctant to go to school and was saying she hated it but I couldn't get anything out of her apart from that the day was too long and she got bored.

I'll try to do some gentle probing over the weekend.

Hmm - DS is going through a similar phase (similar age) but I am putting it down to his being even more tired than usual - he never wakes up or notices until the morning, but that has always been the case - he sleeps extraordinarily deeply so being dry through the night is basically linked, for him, to being able to "last" all night.

Could it be that she is just tired and therefore not waking up quickly enough? Other suggestions are well worth trying though, as DS's meltdowns turned out (eventually) to be at least in part down to being teased at school.

We also played the "give me one word to describe" game to find out the source of the problems - start with non-controversial friends, family, etc and then go through the class - we got some interesting reactions!

double check the 'no wee infection'.

DD3 sometimes still gets wee infections, and the first sign is wet beds, or nearly wet beds (ie, she wakes as she is going in her sleep, and we have a dribble rather than a full wet bed now....she is 9).

if not, then normally it is that something is bothering them.....something as simple as 'someone at school told them something'...has happened with DS"2, his friends cat died and it upset his bestfriend so much it actually affected my DS2 too.

sorry, meant DS1 there.....DS2 is still having wet beds, but his are down to bowel probs.

Just from the reading the title, I was going to suggest school related stress. IMO they do a lot of 'growing up' between 5&6/reception and year 1. She may just be sleeping really deeply (because tired) and not waking up in time.

I think she probably is very tired, it's been harder to get her to bed on time lately, she really doesn't want to go!

I'll try the 'one word to describe' she'd like that game.

I think she's slightly worried about the competitive nature of one of her friends. I notice she goes very quiet when that particular girl is mentioned. There's been a problem with a girl in an older class not letting dd play with an old friend of hers at lunchtime but that seems to have been resolved. To be honest there's nobody particularly troubling in her class or the class next door, they're a lovely bunch of kids.

Maybe she's slightly 'grown out of' Reception? She's an October birthday and has been there since last September.

Oh, the other thing is that she doesn't have a nice Reception teacher, she's very shouty. I asked dd if she'd miss her when she went into Y1 and she said 'NO! not at all' but that she would miss the teaching assistant.

My DD did this around this age - there seemed to be no clear reason for it but a year or so on it did seem to be partly school-related (though it happened some while after starting school) and part developmental.

Realising that she was in the bottom half of the class; realising that not every child is a friend or 'nice'; realising that her then lifelong friends can make other friends leaving her behind ... lots of little everyday things which are part of growing up. She also had some exczema too, which she'd never had before. I think age 6 is quite a difficult time, actually.

Yes, I think so too PV. Sometimes I feel like dd is in a state of permanent PMT.

And I thought it would be such a lovely age! She's now 12, and it's like being 6 all over again but with teen hormones. Iykwim.

So ... between 6 and 12 it's been a dream?

Well, it didn't feel like a dream at the time. But let's say 12 has been a very rude awakening.

I'm quite sure I was still a perfect angel at 12 ...

I can remember getting quite 'dark' aged 12.