Toddler won't poo on potty and gets very upset hehe we suggest it or try

[teaandkittehs]

We are potty training, it's been two months with us letting her take the lead, at home she's been in little pants and probably tells us 9 out of 10 times when she needs a wee. Sometimes she catches it a bit later but she's doing well. We want yum start taking her out without nappies. But she REFUSES to poo on the potty. I gather this is common, everyone keeps usefully telling me how common it is, but no one is suggesting an answer. If we try to sit her m the potty to poo she gets very upset so we are not forcing it in case we create a negative association. But it means we basically have to deal with her pooing herself in and out of the house. I've just changed her in the park because she did a poo in her pants. She hides to poo and shouts go away, so the awareness is there. How do i deal with it? I feel the need to repeat that she gets very upset if we try to put her on the potty so that won't work at present. She did about 3 poos in the potty in the early weeks but has regressed since then. She is 2 years 8 months, i don't care if it takes a while but i have no idea how to deal with it when she gets very upset if we try to sit her on it!

I would put her back in nappies for a couple of weeks and not mention the potty, poos or wees and give both of you time to relax.

Then when you start again, if she displays any signs of wanting a poo, offer her a nappy to poo into but get her to sit on the potty or toilet, with the nappy on, when she poos.

Then when she’s used to doing that, you very gradually loosen the nappy so that in the end you’re just laying the nappy over the potty while she poos.

Good luck.

I really appreciate the advice but I don't think we are going to go backwards to go forwards in this case as she initiated weeing on the potty so we don't want to stop her doing it. Before we started taking her out in pants she even asked to have her nappy taken off to wee while out for walks etc. I guess we are more looking for strategies to move forward from where we are or just to hear from a few people who can tell me with passes! Thank you though.

Well basically your 2 options/methods are.

1. Back to nappies, you dont want this so that means you are stuck with
2. Patience and washing machine method.

There is nothing you can do until she gets it which could take days, weeks, months or even years in some cases.

Personally at her age I would just go back to nappies she hasn't got full control over her bowels yet she can do it sometimes but not always. That is fine. But if as you insist on staying with pants then ensure you have supplies of spare pants, disposable gloves , wet wipes etc everywhere you go and be prepared for it to be quite inconvenient.

I've already been dealing with it for a week now so am fine with that, clearing up poo isn't new to me (years of care work as well as pets and now my child). It's no harder than carrying around piles of nappies and spares clothes anyway, and I've never used gloves for nappy changes, I just wash my hands and I think that will suffice now too! She does have full control over her bowels - she knows exactly when she's going to poo as she goes and hides and shouts go away. She's just not ready to poo on the potty and gets upset if we try to put her on the potty or put a nappy on her. I've now spoken to several people who have had the same with their child and they said one day they just 'got it' so eventually that day will come. It may be a week, it may be a year. Statistically, I doubt it will be YEARS though so am not worried about that. It's only a very limited amount of kids who are still doing turds in their pants age 7 and I doubt she will be one of them 🤷‍♀️like I said she initiated this herself and is keen on weeing on the potty so I don't think going backwards is what she needs.
Still happy to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience, however.

She started to poo in the potty yesterday and again today. So glad I didn't put her back in nappies!