Can anyone help identify if my DS5 is ND?

[pippedandpooped]

I’ll list what I think is probably quite abnormal for his age. He’s 5.5 and will be going into year 1 next month.

1- he struggles to sit still, he’ll occasionally watch 15 mins of tv in one sitting, usually just before bed time but is never able to at any other time of day. And he has countless amounts of energy.
2- he is very difficult for DH and I, but no one else. He’s extremely argumentative, stubborn, quick to fly off the handle, easily frustrated and happy to blame everyone else for his mistakes.
3- he seems to be hyper aware of noises and stuff going on around him, like why did that car take over that car? Like he really HAS to understand why. He will watch other kids for long periods of time, just gazing at them, that’s the only thing that will keep his attention.
4- he’s very impolite but only with DH and I, his go to attitude is obnoxious and rude.
5- he seems to be unable to relax and enjoy himself, it’s like he’s very uptight all the time and he’s only happy if he’s with other kids doing very physical stuff.
6- he hums when he eats which I’m guessing is some kind of self soothing thing.
7- he doesn’t seem to want to connect with DH and I on a friendly, loving level.

Occasionally he can be very sweet and I know underneath it all he’s a nice person, but I am beginning to think at 5.5 we can’t label these behaviours on him being a toddler anymore. He’s been like this really since we can remember. Am I being hard on him? Or would anyone else think this is quite extreme? Maybe just a personality thing?

It does sound like he may have some sensory differences. I recommend reading The Out-of-Sync Child - it may give you some more insight into what's going on for your DS.

Have you tried leaning into his need for 'physical stuff'? Roughhousing together, pillow fights, wrapping him up like a burrito, etc.? It may help you connect with him and diminish the obnoxious/rude attitude.

As for getting any possible neurodivergence diagnosed, your first stop will be to talk to his teacher in a few weeks time - once he's settled into Yr1 - and ask whether they've noticed anything at school.

@turninglikewisethank you for replying. That’s some good ideas.

He was just over his friends house today for a play date, “good as gold” his friends mum said, of course he was, but I took him to the toilet just before we left, got down on his level and said “I missed you today sweetie did you have a good day”, he just scowled at me and made some kind of urgh noise. It feels like he’s rejecting me/us as well, more me.

Agree that he could be ND and some things, like an indoor trampoline might help. Doing sport and getting outside should also help him regulate and intriguing some meditation before bed.

What’s his sleep like @pippedandpooped?

The difficult thing is though that you’re probably dealing him a lot of the time but you’re not his Parent. What does your DH tbink? Does he think DSS should be assessed?

And we actually bought a blanket that looked like a burrito for DC2 to wrap them up in