Can’t handle my 3 year old

[Ablq]

I am at the end of my tether. My son is 3, and is total chaos. Especially during any school holiday as he is TTO. We are meant to be going away with family this weekend and I know it will be awful. He is aggressive, shouts, throws things, bites.He doesn’t sleep much and is constantly on go 24/7. He knows when he is misbehaving and nothing I seem to do is helping. I don’t know how to help him, he is mostly well behaved at school. I just don’t know what else to do. We have a rewards chart, I’ve tried time outs, talking to him calmly, breathing techniques NOTHING helps.

Obviously discipline is heavily frowned upon, and you must let the child vent his emotions, but maybe you could sit and have a very quiet, calming chat with him and explain how his behaviour makes you feel?

Sorry I’m not sure what TTO means.

How is the holiday going @Ablq?

It’s unusual for a 3 year old to hit and bite. Usually they’ve realised that it’s not socially acceptable by this age.

It sounds as though he’s overwhelmed. Some sunglasses, ear defenders and a sun hat might help him cope on holiday. Also plenry of quiet time.

See if you can read The Explosive Child as normal discipline techniques don’t seem to be working for you.

I would also do this simple progress checker. Let us know if it says he needs some support and we can advise on what to do next

Hi Both,

Thank you for your replies!

@BunnyRuddington Holiday was difficult! Keeping up with him is hard work, also my sister was there with her child who is the same age. Their temperaments are completely different and I always leave upset because I just don’t understand where I am going so wrong. I will check these things out and could try ear defenders - I can’t say I’ve noticed him struggling with sounds but willing to try anything at this point!

How did he do on the progress checker @Ablq?

And I’m sorry your holiday was difficult

My daughter is slightly younger but I found Hunt, Gather, Parent very helpful for managing and reducing tantrums. It's by an American journalist, a lot of it is about giving kids jobs to do and letting them participate in meaningful work around the house/encouraging age appropriate independence. Her thesis is we often expect too much and too little of kids. Like we expect them not to get irrationally upset but don't expect them to help with hanging up the washing/fetching things at Tesco/walk safely in public places.
The other big theme is about making things easier for you as a parent, things like not feeling you need to do kid's activities all the time, or have loads of toys around the house etc.

That does sound interesting @Nimnuan