ok tell me the facts why smacking is wrong

[amidaiwish]

I am at the end of my tether with my mother. She keeps telling me that dd1 "needs a good smack". Today dd1 was messing around, laughing, running, shrieking at the dressmakers. My mum told her to sit still as she had been asked (about 5 times i must admit) or she would give her a slap with the wooden spoon

I was furious and said very calmly "no you will not".

She just won't let up on the idea that i should smack them when they are naughty and stop "reasoning" with them. This is mostly aimed at DD1 who is 4 and is generally very good though can be a bit of a handful.

So, what are the FACTS why i shouldn't smack them. thanks in advance.

Htting someone with a wooden spoon is not smacking

My sister and I were both smacked a fair amount by my dad - please note NOT BEATEN! just a smack on the bottom. My mum does not smack, ever, she was a primary school teacher and I guess you have to have the patience of a saint.

Must admit, my dad got zero respect from me and my sister, we weren't frightened of him even. Looking back, as I was a really cheeky kid, I used to push him until he snapped and smacked me, as it gave me the upper hand. I used to purposely push until he lost control, as it then put me in control...If I screamed and cried he woudl feel so guilty I could get away with whatever it was I wanted then.

I have smacked my ds once or twice, once in particular when I was changing his nappy and he was deliberately kicking me in the (heavily pregnant) tummy. It stopped the behaviour but I felt so awful afterwards I really try to avoid it.

My mum had an interesting take on it - she said that words are sometimes more hurtful than a smack which after all is over quickly and kids forget it pretty soon. THey don't easily forget nasty words, she reckons.

I don't think there are any facts as such to present to your mum, how about just a smile and 'I know a lot of people think like that, and I'm not ruling out smacking ever, but I'd really like to try a calmer route first'. This means that you are not saying her beliefs are wrong as such, but just asking her pleasantly to do it your way.

In any case, if you had smacked her in the dressmakers she would have probably gone hysterical which would have caused more trauma and disruption anyway, and not achieved the objective at all!

thanks everyone for your replies.
i'm a lot calmer now, posted the OP when i had just got home and was furious.
it's just good to hear sane, calm, rational reasons.