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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

I thought age four was supposed to be easier than three?

2 replies

CalamityJanie · 11/08/2025 02:44

All of my other parent friends have always talked about how age 4 is when parenting really turned a corner and became easier/less stressful/etc, but my daughter turned four two months ago and I feel like I'm kicked in the arse every single day.

Tantrums are worse, and over the smallest things (I helped her open the car door when she wanted to do it herself), my solutions are rejected (no, she doesn't want to try again with the door, or to open the door next time, or to have a snack, or to hear me apologize for the door, or to do anything other than scream her head off about the door), and her logic is bonkers ("You didn't let me open the door, so I can't ever open a door again, and I don't love you, and I'm not going to be in this family anymore.") Then, thirty minutes later, it's "I love you so much, mummy, will you be my mum forever?" It's like I'm in an abusive relationship with something the weight of a mid-size terrier.

Is it just me? Just my child? Were all my friends either lying or in denial?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
BunnyRuddington · 11/08/2025 18:06

I’m definitely in an abusive relationship with my DD only now she’s bigger than me!

I do feel for you though. How long are the tantrums lasting and is she violent?

deadpan · 14/08/2025 11:02

😂 Girls are definitely more sure of what they want and how they want to do it than boys. Our daughter has always had her own mind, right from being a baby. You could ask her to let you know when she wants help, although that might be frustrating and isn't always practical if time is short. Maybe you could tell her which jobs she has, "You open the door and I'll put these things in the boot" or ask her to choose some music to play in the car so she has something else on her mind.

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