Do you have a 4 year old... share your behaviour problems and advice here...

[Raggydoll]

My ds is 4 1/2. He is all the usual lovely things that 4 year old little boys are...

however, he is also destructive with his toys, puts off doing anything you ask of him until the last possible minute, often does things he KNOWS are not allowed - eg - spills drinks, plays with his food, fills the sink, draws on things he shouldn't etc... He has also conveniently forgotton all his manners which he used without fail 6 mths ago??

Finally I'm getting a lot of playground talk (he's in nursery and starts school sept) like 'I'm telling' & 'If you don't xyz then I won't be your friend'

Does anyone have any words of reassurance or advice of handling this type of stuff as I'm usually fairly resiliant but this is starting to wear thin...

i get all the school yard stuff with my four year old dd1 'im not your friend anymore' is one of her faves followed by 'if you do/dont...........then i will never speak to you again'. i just say things like 'well you dont have to speak to me to put your coat on do you?' and try and ignore it as best i can.

she seems to have developed selective hearing too esp when it comres to getting ready to leave the house. this is usually solved by lots of warning i.e. in five mins we are going to get ready to go out' 'it is nearly time to get ready ect a bit like a count down.

for the manners thing i just ignore what she has asked for untill she says please. she has realised now that she wont get anywhere demanding 'well where is my drink? i want a drink now'

other than that i have no advice. but am sure loads of people on here will

thanks micci, I am determined to do the manners thing. I can be quite willfull too when I decide on a tactic - I'm just procrastinating because I know ds will be shouty and demanding until he figures out that he has to remember his manners. Up until now I've been reminding, reminding but its just not working...

Now I just need a plan of action for the other stuff...

My DD is 4/10 and I recognise well some of the symptoms here - tbh the telling tales and all the playground stuff stumps me a bit but the manners thing i'm with micci - I ignore her or just say 'excuse me?' expectantly. As for the destruction or mistreatment of things - i've warned her to stop if in the process but otherwise a very demonstrative throwing in the bin (of item - not child) with explanation is only usually needed once or twice and then they know you mean it. Especially when plaintive cries for replacements fall on deaf ears.

thanks. I think a while ago I probably would have put toys in the bin but at the moment much of the behavious is so relentless he would have little left so I have been warning but not following it through like I was...

Also his sister is 2 and at that lovely age when they really want to help and she also has beautiful manners. Obviously I don't compare and I remeber ds being equally good at that age but dd does get markedly more praise than ds at the moment and I think this is actually making ds behave worse ???