How do I deal with constant hitting in a 2 year old?

[DeepestDarkestSurrey]

Help! My DS will be 2 in a couple of weeks time.

For the last month or so, he has started hitting. It is really upsetting me, I dont understand where it is coming from. He is quite a bright spark and his language is pretty good - how should I be dealing with it?

We are taking a very hard line - as soon as he does it, we say no in a very firm, very cross - well, to be honest, angry - voice. He just seems to do it more.

Tonight over teatime/bathtime/bedtime, he wouldnt do anything I told him to. I tried cajoling him, distraction, being matter of fact, tried to be patient, but after 15 mins of him sitting in the bath refusing to budge, I get fed up and have to battle him out. That's when he hits. This is just one example of the many things he refuses to do in the space of half an hour.

I dont see what else I can do. I am really trying to be patient but he has reduced me to tears on a couple of occasions when he has slapped me very hard in the face several times in a row.

I dont know whether I am making too big a deal out of it but feel that hitting is such a no no that I dont want to go down the 'ignoring' route.

Where am I going wrong? Is it just a phase? Is it quite common (if so why do I never see the other toddlers in our circle doing it)

I feel like a failure mum right now. I am really depressed about it.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

I keep telling myself it's a phase when ds behaves like this (when I was pg he used to run at full speed and whack me on the bump).

dd2 (nearly 2) does it- when she's tired or hungry usually. I think it's pretty common at this age - it's still quite young to expect impulse control - and we often expect more of bright sparks with good language - (it's sometimes easy to forget how little they are when they speak so well) What I've found most successful is to make eye contact with her and firmly tell her 'we don't hit' ..as shouting tends to make her worse - upset and therefore and more 'hitty' IME. But yes it is a phase and they do grow out of it - I remember DD1 (now 13!)going through something similar at that age.

my dd2 hits when she is tired also(she is 2.5).we do 'time out' when she does it(i have to try not to melt when she says 'sowwy mummy' though).

ds2 used to hit/push all the time when he was 22months-2.6,but his speech wasnt very god and i founf out when he was 3 he had hearing problems,which could have contributed to it.

it is upsetting,but i think its pretty normal,and you are doing the right things.he will grow out of it(and move on to something else)in time.

Thanks everyone, that is helpful to hear. I will just have to grit my teeth and get through this phase as many before me have...

I found getting dd to stop one thing then do another was hard at this age.

It helped to give a countdown 'Let's have a bath then stories, ... now we're in the bath and next we'll do stories, ... one more minute in the bath, then stories, ... do you want to pull the plug out or shall I, ... right, bath finished, bye bye bath, time for stories' etc etc ad infinitum.

We even had a little song that went 'nappy, jammies, story bed' (to the tune of head, shoulders knees and toes) and it can be adapted to other routines.

HTH