2yr old tantrums with self-induced vomiting! Please help!

[LittleMissTickles]

We've been through the terrible tantrum-2's before, but DD2 (age 2.3) has started having huge huge 45 min long tantrums, and worst of all is she will put her whole hand in her mouth to try and make herself vomit! This is obviously distressing to all of us, and we try to stop her, to my shame I have even smacked the offending hand (with no change in the behaviour as result).

Please tell me how you would handle these tantrums. I would prefer to turn my back and pretend to ignore her while in the same room, but can't do this due to the hand-in-mouth situation. Any advice welcome, and desperately needed.

Poor you! What I would do is, when she starts just say calmly "I'm not listening to that" then walk out of the room. The making herself sick bit is to get a reaction out of you. If she has no audience I doubt wether she would go to the trouble of making herself sick. This is probubly her grand finaley. I'd listen at the door but don't go in unless there is serious risk of injury. I'd also have a word with your health visitor and nursery (if she goes). Good luck.

Thank you MLL, I agree that she is probably just trying to get a reaction, but her eyes appear so 'crazy', it really stresses me out so much. When the tantrum is finally over, she is sweet and lovely DD again, but I feel fragile and sad for hours - quite pathetic of me, but can't help it!

I've heard of megga tantrums like this, what tends to cause them ?

ignore. ignore. ignore. (within listening distance of course).

or

distract. distract. distract (fear this one wont work if shes that bad).

No distracting works for just the usual troubles, but these BIG ONES can't be diverted, it seems.

We have been on a very long internatioanal trip recently, and the exhaustion has definitely increased the frequency and duration of these monsters, but to be honest, they had started before we left.

MLL, it is worst when she is tired. She does not go to nursery and has an afternoon nap and sleeps 7-7ish (minus screaming time). Am I missing something obvious?

It dosn't sound like it! I tought my daughter some baby sign so that she could communicate what the problem was easier. This worked well, but she does have a speech disorder which was adding to her frustration. Is her diet good, and does she eat enough? If my daughter ever gets hungry she can be evil.

This is so distressing for you.

If you can bear it, ignore, walk away when the fist goes in. If she is sick, change her without fuss or comment ( I appreciate that you will probably be shaking with fright) .

The point of this is to focus away from the unwanted behaviour, which currently gives a fabulous payout - attention from Mummy, lots of fuss and palaver.

Stick with it and you should get a result.

Good luck.

agree with MLL... hunger causes tantrums in my 2 yr old. (assume you not feeding her stuff with loads of E no's in?)

dont let her see it upsets you, i think thats the main thing. she's probably doing it out of frustration and to get a reaction.

it will pass honest.

ignore ignore.

dd2 was a gagger. which then caused vomit. she didnt stick her hands in her mouth, could just self-induce vomiting. ignore it. clean up with no fuss, and once tantrum is stopped, then go and make a little fuss and 'make up'.

the stcking hand in is just to ghet your attention, which she is getting by you telling her nop, stop etc etc.

obviously do keep an ear out and an eye on her, but dont make a fuss.

agree with misdee and others saying ignore. And yes, it will pass! These tantrums are something that I think 99% of children have, I really don't think there's any way of utterly and completely avoiding them unfortunately.

the thing I know from experience (sadly!) is that once they have been sick, there is nothing more in there to come; the tantrum is somewhat reduced in power because they have used their main arsenal

DS used to do this very occasionally and yes all you can do is clear up very calmly and just rest assured the worst is pretty much over at that point.

I think what does help, although it IS hard, is remaining really calm and 'seperate' from their tantrum; I used to say to ds how sorry I was for him as he was feeling so bad. You don't need to get all het up yourself or tie yourself up in knots trying to stop them tantrumming; they will stop when they can.

Thank you thank you. I just needed a plan, and now I feel like I have one. Will try to ignore and not fuss. You know how some days you feel strong and able to cope with all the little challenges, and other days not? Your responses have given me new strenght - thanks again!

good for you. let us know how you get on...

My dd 2 and a half yearold seemed to have had a personality change this week. Her tantrums seems to have accelareated ten fold. She has started shouting at me and getting herself into a real state and when I try to calm her down and settle it she gets even angrier with me.

Help....

You know what Madame, after I came on here and relaxed about the vomiting-tantrums, she stopped it within 3 days! We still have tantrums, but now rather amazingly only about once a week, and usually when tired.

Looking back (possibly a bit hastily, as it will probably return!) I notice a few things though. Firstly, she has had no colds or other illnesses in these 5 weeks. Secondly, we are largely ignoring the tantrums, just loving her afterwards and keeping it a bit light-hearted (as far as possible). And thirdly, we have been quite settled at home. Most importantly though, keep repeating THIS IS JUST A STAGE over and over! Good luck.