Hi all! I'm in desperate need of advice or any ideas. I'm a stay at home mom of 7. Aged 14, 13, 11, 9, 4, almost 2, and a 5 month old. my two year old is the one I need help with. My entire pregnancy was awful with him- riddled with anxiety, stress, and not knowing if he would make it here alive. There was a knot in the umbilical cord and he was oxygen deprived for the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy. He failed every stress test beginning at 28 weeks, 3x a week. They refused to take him early with me begging them to; their reason being they wanted to avoid a NICU stay. My 9 yr old was a micropreemie weighing exactly a pound and spent a year in the NICU so we were absolutely okay with a NICU stay over chancing our son having brain damage due to lack of oxygen. They did take him at my scheduled c section at 37 weeks (I have no choice as my micropreemie was an emergency and they did a classical incision so I'll never be allowed to go past 37 weeks now.) I knew the moment my son was born that something was wrong. I blatantly asked the Drs in the hospital and instead of reassuring me or doing any kind of checks on him they assigned a nurse to stay with me 24/7 because they believed I was suffering from PPD. Even the pediatrician wouldn't listen for an entire year with me fighting them every step of the way until it became very obvious that something was wrong when he couldn't even hold his head up at a year old. He just started walking two months ago and he does not eat any food; he relies solely on pediasure, juice, and fruits and veggies that I blend into a drink for him. He was referred for PT, OT, speech, feeding therapy, and behavioral therapy almost a year ago and I'm calling daily trying to get him in but the waiting list is so long we're looking at another several months to start anything. He had an MRI of his brain and spine after seeing a neurologist where we found he has chiari malformation. For those unfamiliar it's an abnormality with his skull where it meets the spinal cord- part of his brain is pushed down into his spinal canal. The kind he has and the portion of his brain that's pushed down regulates the flow of cerebral-spinal fluid and can create pressure on his brain so this will be a lifelong ordeal of monitoring, working with the neurosurgeon, neurologist, and having MRIs of his spine every other year or so to make sure no pockets of fluid are building in his spine which can cause paralysis. My son is extremely unbalanced and uncoordinated and non verbal. He does not acknowledge his name or listen and needs 24/7 supervision. We can't keep him in playpens or anywhere for that matter. He's Houdini and can escape anything, literally. It's terrifying at times. I cannot leave him alone for even 10 seconds and he has no choice but to sleep next to me every night due to him climbing out of his crib and wandering the house which isn't safe. I am extremely burnt out and have reached out everywhere for help but cannot find any. The only place within 65 miles of us that is trained and accepts special needs children for respite care currently doesn't have anyone licensed to care for him. I have called every single day care offering any amount of money to just take him for an hour or two even one day a week and no one is willing to help. I'm burnt out, I'm in tears, I'm overwhelmed. My in laws live 10 hours away, my siblings and mother are 8 hours away, and one of my sisters is 3 1/2 hours away but she's got early onset dementia so is unable to help much. I'm losing my sanity and tired of begging for help. The last several places I called I was just sobbing begging for help and it seems there is none. Is there any way to make my life easier? Can anyone suggest tips or something that I can safely contain my son in for just a few minutes at a time so I'm able to do anything? Housework is falling behind, my 5 month old and other children are not getting the attention they need because I literally cannot control or take my eyes off my 2 year old.