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21 month old not talking or gesturing

3 replies

RachJ14 · 21/07/2025 14:31

Hi there,

Really worried mum here as my amazing 21 month old is currently not talking or gesturing, no pointing etc. which I know are big red flags for ASD.

He babbles lots which I think he seems to think it’s talking, has used a few words such as up, down, car, dadda but only frequently uses them. He doesn’t point when he wants something or to share an interest. He can point and points a clocks numbers as I count, but no at objects such as point to the dog- Maybe I’m being impatient.

He attended a drop in session with a speech and language assessor a few weeks ago with a team on 4 people, non particularly concerned but they did say he is really lacking understanding and that’s why he’s not talking or gesturing! If he’s not talking more when he turns 2 they would like to see him again for more evaluation.

He has good joint attention, brings me books and toys, likes you to play with him and get involved with his toys. Wouldn’t say he plays with other kids, but he does interact and has no problems being around other children playing. If kids are on a trampoline he actively seeks it out and loves being bounced. Loves soft plays, parks and has no issues with loud busy places. Understands socials que’s ie if another child is playing on a toy car he will wait his turn until they are finished then jump on, doesn’t just shove his way in.

He always has and does have great eye contact, looks at you when you speak, looks at you for validation or a reaction, laughs at you when your being funny, plays peek a boo, responds to his name as much as I would expect a busy toldder too.

No other sensory issues, apart from standard toddler stuff of teeth brushing and haircuts are tricky. Few tantrums but nothing I wouldn’t expect for his age and they don’t last long.

He doesn’t go to nursery and only has select people he spends the majority of time with so I do think he can be shy. Can get upset when new people come over to our house, but eventually warms up and starts engaging with them.

He has been way ahead with any physical development, overtakes 3/4 year olds in soft play and can outrun older peers! Likes to run, and does shake his head with excitement when he does this occasionally. Is this sensory seeking?

We have his HV out in a few weeks and I’m hoping she can put my mind at ease as currently due to lack of speech and gestures I feel he is so behind other kids his age and he’s really worrying me.

Anyone with similar experiences and kids just took their time?

thanks!

OP posts:
skkyelark · 21/07/2025 22:04

Has he had a recent hearing test? Glue ear is quite common in toddlers, and if you can't hear properly, it's very hard to learn to talk! In many areas you can self-refer, so worth checking if you can in yours, or ask your HV if they can refer.

Did they give you any advice on how to boost his understanding? I think often it's suggested that you really simplify your language so 'Let's put our shoes on now' becomes 'shoes on', and so on, and really repeat the key word, so having said 'shoes on', you might say 'my shoes' and then 'your shoes', or 'one shoe', 'two shoes' as you put them on. Or 'Bouncing! You're bouncing! Bouncing is fun!'.

RachJ14 · 22/07/2025 07:00

Thank you for your reply!

We have a private hearing test booked for Friday, I’ve had a few suspicions recently that he has one ear that gives him bother. He flicks it occasionally and during a bath holds it- just the one and same ear each time!
I’m not confident we will even get him to sit still and let someone perform a test! He’s such a wiggle and never been keen for a haircut etc, and cause he lacks understanding- hard to explain why he needs to sit for it!

Thanks for the tips on how we speak to him, will keep at it and put this more into practice. I don’t think as parents we’ve been brilliant for actually helping him to speak!

OP posts:
Sarah447 · 22/07/2025 14:19

My son had a hearing test around that age and they don't have to sit still for it and nobody looks at their ears as far as I remember, when my son had it done they had a table in the middle of the room with some toys on it, my son was stood at the table looking at the toys and then there will be a sound from somewhere in the room and they're seeing if the child looks towards it. I was worried about how my son would do as he's really hyperactive but he actually did fine.

That was through NHS though not sure if private test will be different

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