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Lies

9 replies

VictorianSqualor · 27/05/2008 11:45

At dinner last night DS decides to tell us why he put the cat in the oven last week

Apparently he saw out of his window, the farmer in the farmhouse across the road, close all the doors and put the cat in the oven, but because the cat's tail was small it fitted.

There is no way DS can see into the farmers kitchen, we cannot even see their windows.

So I say, are you sure DS?? How on earth did you see into the farmers kitchen? He tells me the farmer moved his kitchen into his living room so it was closer

So I say to him, well, that's not true is it, a good story, but nonetheless, just a story. He refuses to admit its not true.

Trying to explain to him about lying (he knows in the sense that if he does something or Dd does what the truth is and what a lie is, but seems to be confused about things that didn't happen, not things that did)

I ask if DD knows the story of the boy who cried wolf, she says no, DS says 'I do', so I ask who told him it, sure he doesn't know, he says the boys mum told him. She said to him 'Don't talk to that boy over there, he is crying about the wolf' again, try to get him to agree that that's not the truth, but he seems convinced it is.

It's not a problem, as, like I said, it doesn't relate to his behaviour with reality, just stories he tells. Does he really believe these stories himself???

He is 3 and a half btw, not at nursery.

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
VictorianSqualor · 27/05/2008 12:35

No-one?

OP posts:
cazcaz · 27/05/2008 13:36

VS, my DS1 (now 7) has always told 'stories' like this.

They can often be quite elaborate and I used to be quite worried about it, however he has won the 'creative award' at school for the last two years for his stories!

IMO as long as they are stories relating to his imagination and not lies as in 'yes I have cleaned my teeth' when his toothbrush is dry etc, then it is not such a big deal.

DS1 was at karate last week and was asked how he had got there, as I had just dropped him off and not stayed, and he replied stony faced 'by tardis of course'. He could not be persuaded to say in mummy's car!

VictorianSqualor · 27/05/2008 15:03

I think it was the fact he doesn't seem to establish a difference between them and reality that made me think.

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MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 27/05/2008 15:10

I had this a few months back - let me see if i can find the thread.

MARGOsBeenPlayingWithMyNooNoo · 27/05/2008 15:25

I can't find it in the archives.

You do have to make the distinction between his creative imagination and deviousness.

VictorianSqualor · 27/05/2008 15:29

That's what I thought, he swore blind he saw the farmer etc, even when I showed him it wasn't possible to the farmer's window.

OP posts:
cazcaz · 27/05/2008 15:54

Yes you do have to make the distinction between reality and his imagination, but in the end, (after a long conversation with his teacher)we realised he did know they were stories but wanted them to be true iyswim.

I guess it's a little like when children have imaginary friends, it's really hard to say they don't exist, but we want to know that they know it's in there imagination.

mumeeee · 29/05/2008 16:57

That is typical 3 year old behavior. Young children are unable to tell the differnce between Fantasy and reality. To your Ds his story was true becuse he had made it up and told you.
Most under fives are the same and a lot of children are 7 before they can tell the diference.

Pheebe · 29/05/2008 19:41

Making up stories is NOT lying. Lying is things like saying he didn't do something when you know he did, saying he washed his hands after using the loo when you know he didn't etc

When I was 4 my dad was called up to school where my first teacher proceeded to tell him I was a liar. When my dad asked what she meant apparently I was making up stories for the other children auch as my grandad was in africa hunting lions, my mum had taken me to the moon in a space rocket and my dad was king of england turns out I was retelling my bedtime stories (with my own little twist). Obviously my dad laughed at said teacher, told her not to be so ridiculous and to encourage my imagination

please please don't stiffle his imagination, cherish and encourage it

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