how to stop bf 14mnth old boob obsessed dd???

[hmummy]

Really need advice on how to stop bf my 14 month old. I put this off until 'after we move' . . . but we moved 3 weeks ago, so need to start thinking about it! DD1 gave up herself after 5 months so I am in unchartered territory! DD2 very determinied and strong willed little miss, prone to tantrums. Quite clingy to me and uses bf as a comfort if I go into a different room and she didn't want me to, after she has hurt herself, if she is tired, to get to sleep, if she is hungry ....I could go on!!
She does go to nursery 3 days a week - so has none during the day then.

Would really appreciate ideas!
hmumy x

Cold turkey may be the only way. 14 months is quite old to be still bfding (well done!) so nutritionally she certainly doesn't need it, its habit/comfort as you say and there's no easy way to break that other than to just stop

That could be my 14m old you're describing!

I'm not quite ready to stop yet though I wouldn't mind a reduction in feeds. So far I'm having a bit of luck by reasoning with her- I ask if she's "all done"? and often that seems to snap her out of her feeding zone and back to life, or say mummys nipples are sore now, more later. Also I often find she's actually thirsty and heads for me rather than a sippy cup as its whats she's used to doing, so if a offer a cup of milk she will take that instead.

Let me know what works cos I'll be looking for ideas in a couple of months!

I have a 13 month old who is also like your DD.
She clings onto my leg for dear life and will only walk holding my hand - even though shes very capable of walking on her own. She always demands boob when she's tired and I still feed her once in the morning and at bedtime as a pacifier. In the afternoon I take her out for a walk in her buggy and give her milk in a sippy cup. She normally drinks this and falls asleep, though its taken a few weeks to get this going. I think you're right bobblehead - if they are thirsty they'll drink from a cup.
The way I see it is that they're still happy to have the occasional feed and from what I've gathered from Mumsnet it can only do them some good, carry on for the time being - but it sounds like you're getting drained too.Do remember though that just because it seems taboo in the UK pretty much the rest of the world sees it as normal to keep feeding at this age. If I were you I'd cut out some of the feeds and let her have a little hissy fit, but I'm not sure about going cold turkey completely.
It could well be teething and/or separation anxiety. I know this is the reason for my DD's behavior and I'm sure they'll all grow out of it. Tough growing up - I think some little ones just find the whole toddler experience a bit scary.

what brightongirl said...
don't just stop cold turkey! obv., if she's thirsty/hungry, give her a drink/snack, but the boob is soooo handy for other things...you said so yourself, when she's hurt, sad, tired...instant, simple solution! instead of trying to find other ways to console her (which is soo hard work), you can just breastfeed her.
It is so sad that people have to stop breasfeeding because they think it is wrong that their toddlers "only" use it for comfort. They don't do it forever, they will be grown up before you know it...really!
you may have other reasons, but society's views shouldn't come into it...

As others have said, don't give up bf just because you think you should. If really you are still enjoying it and your lo certainly is then try and ignore social pressure.

However, if you've actually had enough (and 14 months is a fantastic achievement), then this is how I weaned my dd off.

Cut out one feed, one week at a time. Start with the feeds that your dd is less attached to (usually the ones in the middle of the day).

I bf dd twice a day (morning and bedtime) for quite a while before I stopped completely. These feeds were really hard to stop. We switched to milk from a sippy cup (she was 20 months by this stage), DH would feed her and I would have to keep out the way. The bedtime one went first, as she was tired she seemd to put up less of a fight. The morning one was awful - for about 5 days she would cry her heart out when she was refused the breast. After a week, she was pretty much over it.

Be careful to keep covered up when you're around dd (out of sight out of mind!). If you're feeding dd to sleep you might have to sort that out first. Have a sippy cup handy for any occasion that dd goes for your boobs. Defintely don't give up cold turkey as you'll end up with very swollen, engorged and painful boobs. If you do it gradually your body will adjust slowly and comfortably. Sage tea is good for reducing milk supply - you have to drink about 4 cups a day, every few hours.

I wont lie, it was really diffucult to give up bf. My dd was like yours and was very attached to it. Happily though, it's still only about 6 weeks since I stopped completely and dd is doing brilliantly. I now give her milk, and we have a cuddle while she's drinking it. She still loves my boobs and points and giggles if she sees them in the flesh. Sometimes she'll give them an affectionate pat, but she doesn't try to suckle anymore .

Do you want to stop altogether or cut down? I'm planning to carry in feeding DS until he's two (and there are certainly other benefits than 'comfort' or habit') but we're down to a bedtime feed. I have to say it was a massive boon when DS was in hospital as it was the only thing that would calm him down enough to stop him ripping out his drip.

If you really want to give up (and not feeling pressured to do so, in which case practise the serene smile and the 'bog off'), cutting down by one feed a day would be a good idea.

It is not clear from your post whether YOU want to stop nursing or not.

BTW it is unlikely that the nursing makes your child clingy. I have been nursing my DD for 21 months and she is the most outgoing confident child I have seen locally. My DD's nursing does not make her clingy.

IMO I feel that your DD2 will remain clingy even if you wean her but then you'll have no free comfort, sleep inducing, snack to offer when she is hurt, tired, sleepy, hungry. This is the biggest advantage in nursing an old baby/toddler.

If you want to wean I have heard 'don't offer, don't refuse' can work well with some children, might be worth a try.

If you want to continue to nurse, 14 months old is still so very young and the comfort that a child gains from nursing is invaluable and don't forget WHO recommends a minimum of two years of breastmilk.

Good luck whatever you decide to do