Hi
Im writing this as i am at the end of what i can deal with without offloading.
My eldest is a girl and she is beautiful she has always been a lovely calm little girl and not to blow my own trumpet but always been well cared for. It’s just me and my husband who take care of her mainly me. If at school and needs me it’s me, needs a lift it’s me, ect ect.
We have family but we don’t ask for help we aren’t that close really and we have lovely friends.
When she was 14 she started dating a guy who was really controlling and cos he was popular and that’s all she cares about that and looking good on social media, she stayed with him, after a while of not listening to us but her friends she stopped and moved onto a guy who smokes a lot of weed. I straight away banned her from seeing him as drugs were involved.
Then she moved onto a guy who she met online (but knew through a friend) and he wanted her (he was 16 she was 14! ) to meet at his and go to a concert! We said no.
She kicked off so bad with this our relationship took its toll we said she could have a phone but stop talking to people you don’t know are older than you and don’t take drugs. After a couple of months of ups and downs she eventually saw it.
Then about a year ago (she is just turned 16 now but was 15 at the time) ended up getting with a lad who joined the school in the end of year 10 cos he got kicked out of his last school cos he had anger problems, would square up to teachers mainly women teachers and flooded the science block.
I really tried to get her to see sense but she was having non of it. I gave him a chance. He was soon 16 when got into year 11 and wanted to have unprotected sex with my 15 year old daughter. He would come into my house and vape in it and would speak to me and my daughter like shit.
The school rang me and said her grades are going down and with all this after speaking to his parents who don’t seem to care i said you can see each other at school but he isn’t welcome here and you aren’t going to his. His older sister has been involved in sexual crimes and learnt he was also dealing vapes too.
She went mental but eventually she understood and to be fair he was awful to her would shout stuff at her, flirt with girls in her face, post things about how much of a ugly person she was on social media and that he was a celebrity and she was fan. She then got it and then she left school and we are off to a good start she was enjoying going out with her friends, having sleepovers and it felt like a fresh start.
She then bumped into him at a party and he saw her looking lovely and getting attention off others and decided to say this was non of his fault and told her they should get back together and now she is 16 we as a parent have no say and he should be able to come to our house and she should go to his without permission and that he has a motorbike and escooter and she can go on that to get about.
She then believed it all and started being very mentally abusive to me. I said i would not let her see him however do continue to live a full life with your friends and doing normal teen stuff.
She screamed at me everyday last week saying she hated me she wished i was dead wished i wouldn’t speak to her threatened to runaway several times would get in my face and if i raised my voice back (first i was calm but after hours of someone following you screaming at you it’s hard to take)
I grounded her and took her phone and she would continue to say how controlling we are and we were terrible parents and if we wanted someone to blame for her anger blame ourselves cos we are terrible parents.
When she did say sorry it was said really nastily like aggressive almost and i would say come and talk to me so we can move forward when you don’t have this attitude cos i want tolerate it she would get in my face saying sorry my sorry doesn’t meet your standards and what do you want me to do kiss your fuckin feet!
To say i’m beyond on my backside mentally with this is an understatement i have took her to the docs but she just told the docs i am an awful mother and her dad is a terrible dad and i e contol her. She is allowed to have freedom but with people we know are nice.
Please help me!
I can’t sleep or eat and her mood is awful i have tried to meet half way with her and let friends over and so far the shouting in my face has stopped but her attitude is still there like she looks at me like dirt.
Please any support welcome and kindly no judgement.