Help Advice / 12 year old - behaviour home & school!

[Boymumma3]

Hi guys im just posting really for abit of advice in where to go or what to do.

Cut a long story short my son started year 7 in september 2024, his behaviour changed drastically, there was incidents where he was bullied, self harmed because of the peer pressure (he did see gp because of this), he wasn't well behaved etc.. managed to get him into a much better school and away from all the bad at the school he was in.

Anyhow he is now in a very nice setting and a really supportive school. But his behaviour has not improved at all, I blamed the school before but now im unsure! Hes made a whole new friend group and all he seems interested in is making them laugh. He left primary such a caring loving boy greater depth across most subjects. He is now in lower grade classes, he is getting detention everyday, he has today now been suspended for fighting. His behaviour is not only at school like this but home too. He is disrespectful towards me, nasty towards his sibling most times and just thinks he can do as he pleases. I punish him, ground him and take his phone. Nothing seems to work! Everytime he gets told off he sits in tears saying he dont want to live hear and sick of been told off, but hes constantly doing things to be spoke too about how hes acting. I have sat down with him and spoken and asked whats wrong and if anythings going off which could be affecting him etc and he just says no. He thinks we are all against him but im constantly reassuring him im not but he cant expect not to be spoken to about how hes acting and getting away with doing what hes doing.

Im stuck where to go next what to do next. We are booked in again to see the GP this week and I have a meeting at school monday when he can return.

I feel like i am constantly at him which i dont want to be and obv can feel too much but he is constantly acting like this so what do i do.

Any advice or similar situations would be great.

What have school done so far? Are they doing anything like Zones of Regulation?

How does he do on this simple progress checker?.

We have ADHD in the family and from your description of your DS it does sound as though this might be a possibility? Do you think that he’s struggling in class and using humour, has he ever been screened for Dyslexia?

When you are meeting the School, will their SENCO be involved?

For now i would start to treat him as though he does have ADHD. So work on his regulation. Things like running, going to the gym, boxing, cycling, swimming or Martial Arts.

Even better if you or his DF can do obe of those activities with him.

Up his protein in his diet but try to avoid doing it through UPFs.

Lower your expectations on behaviour. If he does have ADHD he will probably be functioning at around 9 years old rather than what’s expected of a 12 year old.

We started off the whole process by taking positively about public figures that have ADHD with our DC to try and get away from any negative stereotypes they may have had.