Can anyone offer any advice on a 12 years old behaviour at home!

[JG84]

I’m really struggling with my child’s behaviour, I don't know what to do for the best. She has bad mood swings and tells me she hates me all the time. Schools not bad but she did something naughty at the weekend and now she is grounded, she is refusing to go to school on Monday because of it.

I now know I need some help but I don’t know what to do. The school is aware of her behaviour at home and have started the early help process but it’s taking to long and her behaviour towards me is getting worse.

I don’t know how to tell my partner (who is not her dad) that I’m struggling with her behaviour towards me and at home. I don’t want him to leave.

I’m going through the same thing with my 12 year old daughter, I’ve let the school know, my daughter is angry and shouts at me, she says she hates me. I try to talk to her but she gets annoyed, it has started to escalate and she has hit me, which then I realised I needed outside help. I’ve also made a self referral for mental health, quite a lot of help available she is starting a course about her emotions, and learning strategies to cope, which she knows about, Reducing screen time, and starting new activities which I’ve signed up to a gym for us both as that’s what’s she wanted to do, I’ve also told her to pick something , anything for after school a sport /hobbie. I’ve been really struggling and totally relate to you ! Can you get any time to yourself for a night ? Are their grandparents or family that she could stay with occasionally just so you can recharge ?

I have no family, my ex is useless and she doesn’t want to go see his side of the family. My dad’s died and mum has dementia. It’s just difficult and I’m trying. I’m sure it’ll all be fine once she understands how to regulate her emotions but I’m just on pins in case it takes to long and my partner decides to leave.

we have slightly different parenting styles, my style is obviously failing miserably so I’m trying his way but he doesn’t believe that I’m doing it. I’m just on pins all the time and just want her to understand the significance of her actions.

yes my ex is useless too. You are def not failing , being mom is not easy, your present and love your child how can that be failing. If I’m honest every time my daughter was shouting at me and being extremely aggressive I was reacting back in the same way then I realised we wasn’t getting anywhere , it was just her shouting and me shouting the house was becoming toxic , I was constantly worrying about what the neighbours must be thinking , closing windows etc. it got so bad I just couldn’t stand it. I actually was poorly a few months back and didn’t have the strength to shout back and tried to just ignore the behaviour I realised I felt better for not reacting or responding by shouting, that’s when I realised she needed help, I contacted the school and spoke to them I was in fear about this but couldn’t believe the help that’s available. She is starting a course on emotions via mental health referal. We started doing stuff together. Please hang in there, give yourself credit xxx things have to get bad sometimes in order for changes to be made. The school offered me a parenting course , I said you know what I will do anything if it can help her, there is always a reason behind the behaviour. This age and teenage years are suppose to difficult , we got to learn and adapt too as well as them x