How to discipline 4 yr old?

[monami]

HI, would be grateful of any advice. without boring everyone my 4 yr old dd has turned into a nightmare!!!!
If you ask her to do stuff she will just delilberatly not do it. If she over steps the mark and need time out we put her in the hall but on the way she will be punching or scratching me. If I tell her off she coemes out with "Im telling your mum" and she really doesnt care.
I know she is very much like myself - if she is confronted or challenged she will dig her heels in and is very stubborn and wont back down. But there is a line you shouldnt cross such as hitting your parents - that tells me there is no respect. BUt she just does what she likes when she likes. I cant keep putting my child in the bloody hall - and besides - its obviously not working. Ignoring her bad behaviour doesnt work as she just gets destructive and how do i ignore that?

GOd help me!!!

Well I'm not God but couldn't not reply!

In my experience 4 year olds can be worse than two year olds!! I'm taking it that this is a new thing and that she has only recently "turned into a nightmare".

Maybe she is worried about starting school or has other little worries but can't find the language to explain herself.

Time out is not something I have ever really used at home, I have always tried to diffuse a situation before it got to that level, usually by distracting them with something else, like joking around or whatever.

I agree that you need to make it very clear to her that it is never okay for anyone to hit or scrath anyone else ever, I would take away a toy for this.

I know its difficult but are you still rewarding her when she is good?

Good luck.

The 6 mths leading up to starting school are hellish. Ride the storm, she is a typical 4 yr old.

My 4yr ds is driving us insane and an absolute pain in the backside. Cheeky, destructive, rude, you name it. But my absolute darling dd who is now 7 was identical to her little brother at that age.

The staff at my DS nursery say every single year from March onwards, the potential school starters totally change. Some become naughty, some regress and begin wetting themselves, others clingy.

It is difficult but honestly it is just a testing age that nobody ever mentions. Give me the terible twos anyday

Good luck x

OMG Chipstick, what a coincidence.

My 4yo exactly the same, argumentative, disobedient, boisterous, hyper etc. My nursery staff say all the kids starting school in September are EXACTLY the same at the moment.

Wow....

Makes me feel better!

I wouldn't worry too much about the respect thing tbh. We often see this mentioned on MN and I always wonder if Mums haven't been reading too much media hype about children growing up without respect blablabla.

Naturally you need to teach her that hitting is wrong- we don't hit each other in this family- you mustn't hurt people etc. But wasting your time worrying about whether your children respect you enough can only turn you into an insecure, and hence less effective, parent. If you can stop them when they forget and start hitting you- and if you can share good times in between- then that's plenty good enough.

Just because the Daily Mail has dug up some feral family somewhere doesn't mean your dd is going to end up hanging out in their den, if she occasionally slips up on respect at age 4.