serious food problems at four

[ThingOne]

I'm asking on behalf of a friend who is struggling with her four year old. He's never really got the whole food thing, she's struggled and now his diet is truly shite. He eat little other than crisps and the odd bit of toast.

She's now at the stage where she wants to get some professional help but doesn't want to go to the HV/GP as she is anxious about getting sucked into "the system" and having no control. She's saving money to get some private professional help. But what sort of help should she be looking for? Should she be looking for a child psychologist? How do you find someone reputable who knows their stuff?

Has anybody successfully tackled this kind of thing? Where does she even start?

We live in the South West.

At our local children's centre there's a drop in session once a month with the dietician, who is there to give advice to anybody who has concerns about how their child eats. She could perhaps try looking on the internet to see if thereis anything similar in her area. As it's a drop-in I wouldn't think it would be too formal, but I've never attended myself TBH.

my dd is four and has been a poor eatre since birth and is underweight as a result although she has been getting better lately.

i saw a dietician who told me to feed her 'fattening' foods such as sauasages,. cheese, cream etc. this wasnt much help i dont need a professional to tell me that those foods will help her put weight on.

i found that not making fuss helps i give dd1 a choice of what she wants to eat most of the time and about once a week will throw a new meal or make her eat with the family, also i have noticed that she has gotten better now that snacks are kept within her reach i.e. yoghurts and fruit, crisps, breadsticks, cheese.

and i also let her have a choice during the shopping trips as to what sort of foods we buy when we are out. fortunately she has always loved fruit and veg and has even been known to turn down pink custard for a plate of fresh spinache (my child is v strange a bit like max wild from the sunny d ad) but its is things containing fat and protien that we struggle with.

hiding food works too, i.e. if he likes toast give him toast with mashed banana on, if he likes milkshake make your own by adding pureed strawberries to some fullfat milk

the advise that i was given is that if the parent makes a big deal about it the cild will too, dd1 only got better when i gave up worrying that she was only eating pancakes and just let her get on with it

It's beyond his stage. She needs professional help.

I'll see if there are any children's centres nearby.

if you are going to go for professional help its is a pyschologist you need to see not a dieticain, as i found out there is no point having some tell you what to feed your child if you cant get them to eat it!

im sure your friends gp will refer her to some one if he agrees that the problem has gone this far

there's a good book on amazon called "can't eat, won't eat" - it's mainly intended for kids with food issues because of autism, but it might have some useful ideas for her.

sorry just read the end of the messgae my dd1 did not get stuck in the system we were seen in about two weeks after referral by a peadiatrician and dietcian and had monthly follow up checks they gave her every test going to see if it was anything physical stopping her eating and putting on weight, but nothing came up.

having said that though the pead was really unhelpfull and condecending and kept telling me that dd1 one needs to eat to grow! i felt like saying 'really you need to feed children, are you sure? i thought that you just had to water them!' ffs why would i bother taking her to the appointments if i couldnt be bothered to feed her.

Yep, I think she knows he needs to eat .