How to get baby in a routine?

[Catk34]

FTM and clueless :(
I have a 6 week old and I feel like I’m doing everything wrong. I hear others talk about ‘nap times’ and ‘wake windows’ like they have it all figured out… should I be trying to create a routine and how do I even do that?
currently I’m meeting babies demands whenever those demands may be. There is no consistency to when he might eat or sleep.
some days he has really sleepy days, some days he is awake a lot. Some days he is hungrier than other days. He often wakes up screaming to be fed, then once eaten just pops right back to sleep again and I wonder how I’m supposed to fit in tummy time and play etc… I can’t do it before his feed because he’s always so desperate to be fed once he wakes up. When he is awake he wants to be constantly held or he cries. I see other mums with babies sitting contently in a bouncy chair or on a play mat. That’s not possible with him and I can never get anything done with my day. I can hardly get a shower or feed myself as I have to be holding him constantly. I have a carrier and that’s quite good some of the time, but often I try to put him in it and he smells the milk from me and starts snuffling, and crying for the milk so I have to give up with the carrier and go BF him…again
I just feel like I have no clue and is it just going to be like this forever!

It absolutely will not be like this forever, he is still so tiny and you’re still in “survival mode” at the moment. In another 6 weeks you’ll have an entirely different child who is much more alert and will be much easier to get onto a schedule. Take the pressure off yourself and try and enjoy these early days as they go by so quickly. The fact that you are questioning what you are doing suggests you’re a great mum!

Oh my goodness, your baby is so little - please don't worry about routines! You're doing so well and just keep responding to what he needs. I'm on number 2 and it wasn't until 6 months for both of them that we neared any kind of routine xxx

Sounds like you’re responding to his needs which is much more important than a routine at this age.

If you’re struggling to shower, is your DH/DP around in the morning and could they hold LO and make you a sandwich for later whilst you have a shower?

It might even be useful if they took LO outside for 10 minutes so they get some sunlight as it helps their circadian rhythms and also helps them sleep at night. At 6 weeks they’re only just figuring out the difference between day and night and a quick blast of sunlight in the morning helps them with this.

But yes, it sounds as though you’re doing fine. I found that often the Mums who appear to have things figured out are the ones struggling the most and want to appear to have it all sorted out of fear or anxiety.

Keep going OP, mine started falling into a rhythm naturally when they were a little older. You might want to start going to groups if you don’t already as this will give you a bit of adult conversation and also give your days more of a predictable rhythm.

And if he doesn’t lie going on the floor, and some babies don’t, then look up how to do tummy time on your knee. You can also try swimming although I always preferred going after they’d had their 8 week vaccinations

6 week old definitely don’t have or need a routine. They’re still so tiny and young and working out day from night etc. Don’t compare your baby or yourself to other babies or parents and what it looks like they’re doing. You’ll only be seeing them for a short window of time and the rest of their day could be an absolute disaster with a baby who won’t nap.
From what I can remember with my first I think he was around 12 weeks old before we started getting into a nicer rhythm. He could go a little longer between feeds so it was easier to do things like tummy time. And it became easier to predict when he would want feeding and a nap. We didn’t get into an actual routine until he was 6 months old and moved into his own room to sleep at night. Then he started sleeping through the night which made working out daytime naps much easier.
Also, wake windows are a useful guide, but they’re not an exact thing for every baby. Some babies just sleep better than others, some hardly sleep at all!
Try not to compare, especially at such an early age. There are no expectations at this stage of what your baby should or shouldn’t be doing. You’re both only 6 weeks into a new life!