Ha childhood been cancelled?

[DrNortherner]

Something Professor Winston said got me thinking. Nowadays kids spend very little time just playing. They are ferried around from one activity to another. Sports clubs and extra tuition are eating into our kids spare time.

Think about when we were kids, we had so much more time to do what we wanted, and more freedom to play unsupervised.

Today kids are getting to 10/11 without ever going anywhere alone (at this age I would be playing out most of the day). Instead we structure their time. We tell them Monday is swimming, Tues is ballet, Weds is maths tuition etc. Plus homework and busy mums and dads is leading to a much more stressful childhood.

I say abandon most of the clubs and activities and let our kids be kids.

They were probably glad you were showing an interest Windygales.

I suppose by your definition I am a risk taker then Anna (or was before DCs anyway).
I was thinking more along the lines of extreme sports, playing the stock market, fast driving, illicit drugs.

There are all kinds of risks in life... extreme sports for some, breaking the law (drugs, driving) for others... The best "risks" are the ones you calculate to get maximum return, and I think that that requires practice... hence the need for teenage freedom.

I live in a very safe village in the middle of nowhere, a friend was expressing her horror to me the other day that her daughter had played out with a friend during a playdate the daughter is 8 years old, they played out in front of the friends house in a quiet cul-de-sac for about 40 minutes whilst the mother was in the kitchen over looking the front of the house.

I desperately want to be able to give my boys more freedom than that. They currently have structure to their lives but also free time.
When I was pregnant someone I spoke to told me how important it was for children to learn to deal with boredom.

This is why I actually like where I live. It doesn't look nice at all. 1960's ex housing estate. The houses are 'vile' on the outside, None of us have a huge amount of money but the kids are always playing out. Because it is like a series of terraced houses all running at little angles with pathways and off the main road it is safe from that pov. There are always groups of moms in the garden watching various groups of kids. Everybody knows whose kids are whose (even if we don't know each others names) so there is always someone around. Its nice, quite noisy but the kids aren't naughty at all. On the odd occasion balls have gone into gardens or cars have been (slightly) bumped there are always instant apologies. The older children around here all scramble to get out of the way if I'm pushing dds in buggy or hold doors/gates open for us. I think that is one thing we may have lost along the way. A sense of community. With more and more people living in houses not overlooked etc we miss what it is to be a neighbour. We work such longs hours we never see neighbours any more. As our neighbourhood is 'forced' to live in such close proximity we go along with it. That's probably why kids do so many structured activities as a way of getting them to socialise in the only way we safely can.

can i just tell you all a very useless thing??

I LOVE ROBERT WINSTON (NOT IN SEXUAL WAY) BUT I THINK HES ABSOLUTELY FAB!!! IN FACT I WAS GOING TO CALL OUR DOG BOBBY WINSTON IN HIS HONOUR BUT AS WE GOT A STAFFY WE CALLED HIM BUDDY (BUDWEISER) INSTEAD......ANYONE ELSE LOVE HIM???? [WEIRD PSYCHO SMILEY]

Oh my kids can play together for hours! They have learned to do this becuase they know I am not going to 'entertain' them 24/7. How would I be able to MN otherwise?

I love him too windy. He just seems so 'uncley' lovable and kind. Clever but not patronising. And he has a twinkle in his eyes that says to me he is probably hilarious in the right place. I'd love to go for a (platonic) drink with him. (although he's be bored shitless with my drivelling!!)

ohh misty im reassured lol- do you remember the mobile fone averts 'who would you have a 1-1 with?' i was sked that at an interview and i told em bobby winston ....i just admire him so much ever since the ming babies series way back in 95!!

i feel guilty now, cos i never even see dd any day of the week after school.
She does gymnastics 4 - 7.45pm on 3 nights a week, plus 4 hours Sat morns and sometimes Sun morns too. On the other 2 days during the week she goes to my mums til 7.30 as i work those days.

making babies that should read my keyboard is naff

My 2 little ones (3 and 5) don't have an after school/nursery activities and play very well togther after school. We share a big driveway with our neighbours with a huge gate so they often play out at the front on scooters, climbing frame etc. DS1 does have more activites as he is 14. He does Aikido once a week and kayaking twice a week. I think at his age they need to have something structured as the evenings he doesn't do anything he is on his PC/games wotsit. Saying that he does often go down to the arbour after school with friends and not get home til 6 ish.

He does go out with friends a lot, but he needs a balance, which we feel he has.

windy - thank god you re-typed that. I had visions of little tiny green babies with arched eyebrows . baby the merciless!! (aren't they all though)

lolol misty we MUST be related

I take my ds 18m to lots of stuff but its for me as much as for him, I don't want to be stuck in all day, or wander round shops, I want to get out and meet people.

As a kid I did NOTHING and i used to wish that someone would take an interest in us and do something with us. Our 6 weeks holidays were spent with no money, 5 kids and perhaps 1 day trip out to the seaside. The rest of the time i had to entertain myself. I dreamed of doing dance classes and brownies etc but we had no money and mum was too busy and didn't drive.

I agree that a bit of healthy neglect is imperetive but surely its good to have hobbies and intrests.

possibly. Do people 'not get you' in RL either. If I said that out loud I'd be pmsl and be getting from everyone else.

I think its all about balance (just like everything else really) Some hobbies and some indepenance.

misty in rl im called Dee and often get called dippy thats why my other screenie is dippydeedoo

Same old principle "everything in moderation", if kids enjoy swimming lessons great, extra bonus that they are learning a skill that could potentially save they live or they could save someone elses. Great if it increases a childs self esteem and confidence when they do well at something and acheive thier goal and get a certificate. Its only a problem when they are not getting time for free play which is also vital

Children are becoming consumer units at increasingly early ages. In our modern world, you seem to cease being a "child" and become an economic force with spending power (albeit channelled through the parents) at about 3 these days. Imo this is the main driving force for children growing up, let's face it, way too young.

I am truly shocked at the number of people, even on MN, who think it's OK for their 11 & 12 yr olds to be interested in boys, pop music and fashion and no longer to run around playing. Many of the yr 7s I used to teach had no toys- only playstations and CDs. I think that is very very sad.