3.5yo won’t count past 3 - what to do?

[savannahsmama]

Just wondering if this is something to worry about or totally normal. My daughter is 3.5 and bilingual (if that matters), but she can’t really count past 3. We count things every day—steps, birds, peas on her plate, teddies that came to picnic—whatever interests her. Sometimes I count, sometimes I try to get her to repeat after me.

But if I ask her to count on her own, she either refuses or says something like “1, 2, 3, 8, 6, 9” or some other random combo after 3. Meanwhile I keep hearing about kids her age counting to 20 and beyond.

Is this just part of the process and I should be patient, or something I should look into more seriously?

First make sure you differenciate between counting and saying.

A lot of kids can say the numbers up to 20, but when actually counting and processing, they can only do 3, 5 etc.

But the parents feel so proud that their kid can count (recite..).

Second, my own experience was similar with my son, he seemed to hit blocks. First 3, then 5, then 10, then 20.. etc. each seemed to be a limmit, but then we just kept practicing and one day he could go beyond.

I found 4 - 4.5 years was the magic age where it just clicked for him and he could progress fast, so maybe your child will be the same.

Number blocks has also been helpful. But not to teach them. I don't think kids "learn" anything from it.. but it's great for getting them to like numbers, and reviewing skills they already know and making them better. (E.g. if they know the numbers to 5, then the number blocks episodes up to 5 are great for solidifying and making that knowledge better).

My son is also bilingual, and his maths is now way better in English than his other language.. mainly because I'm the one who does maths with him, and we mainly do it in English. Even though the logic is the same, the language adds another layer of processing, so early on it is something they have to learn twice.

Oh and an abacus was a great help early on. Nice big wooden one, great investment because you can teach counting, adding, subtracting, timesing etc. all very visually on it. Really good for visualizing numbers above 10, when your child needs that.

I’m an early years teacher.

Totally normal and not something to worry about at 3.5, keep counting and using numbers in her everyday life as you have been doing (which is great).

Being bilingual may make it a little slower as she’s processing the language as well as the numbers.

Sometimes kids can struggle when there are too many things (eg more than 3) to count at once. What can help is her being able to see/visualise the difference between what 3 looks like and what 5 looks like, instead of just seeing a big group of things and being asked how many there are. For example, if you have a toy farm, you could put 3 animals in one pen, 4 animals in another, 5 animals in another, so they’re separate things and not just a huge group she has to count. Same with dolls or teddies-shall we put 3 dolls over here and 5 over here, shall we give this teddy 3 sweets and this one 5, etc. Instead of just asking “how many sweets does the teddy have?”. Get her to count out the objects (with you if needed) as she’s putting them where they need to go. It can be less overwhelming for them that way.

And please don’t worry about these kids who can count to 20+, often parents say they can and they can’t at all, they’re just reciting the numbers, there’s no meaning behind it. Counting to 3 with meaning and understanding is much better than reciting numbers to 20.