Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Please rescue me before I lose my temper!

10 replies

Lazylou · 21/05/2008 21:12

DD (4yo) went to bed over an hour ago and has takne liberties ever since. Up and down, hanging it out, generally delaying the inevitable. She's been to the toilet about 4 times, demanded toys and is now in bed screaming. Dh has just gone into her which is seriously worse than me doing so. I'm tired of getting up and down to her and her tantrumming.

Got a few ideas on how to deal with this but would value any other ideas to get her to stay in bed and accept the inevitable without the tantrums. We are witholding privileges tomorrow because it is a constant battle of wills with her atm and she tends to be winning. She has also been told that if the tantrums continue she will miss out on staying at my parents this weekend. This is the only thing that she is in anyway bothered about. Still the tantrum is ongoing.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

SmugColditz · 21/05/2008 21:13

Go and sit on a chair in her doorway with your back to her. Don't talk to her, just put her back to bed with no other reaction when she gets up.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 21/05/2008 21:15

Perhaps, if its possible, could you pretend not to mind the tantrum? They do take a lot of energy for the child to do and maybe if you can accept that this is what happens at bed time and just keep calmly doing things your way after a few days hopefully they will die out.

In the mean time I prescribe a glass of wine or a bar of chocolate to keep you sane

specialmagiclady · 21/05/2008 21:16

Would second that. Tantrums could be about very real anxiety so your presence may be reassuring, but don't give her any attention. Tantrum not the way to get the information out!

micci25 · 21/05/2008 21:16

i have no idea but will be checking back to see if you get any good advise as my 4 yo is excatly the same, putting it off with 'i need a drink' 'ive lost teddy' 'is there anything good on tv i am bored' contsant trips to the toilet and coming downstairs as she forgot to tell me how much she loves me!

she is also currently in bed screaming, i think she wants clean pj's this time (the ones she has on are clean!!) am ignoring her right now as am sick of this going on all night every night.

maybe its thier age?

Original poster

Lazylou · 21/05/2008 22:08

Well in the end the tantrum got so much that I had to go into her room and stroke her head until she fell asleep. I didn't talk to her or make too much of a fuss and I didn't cuddle her or anything like that. She was getting into a right old state so thought getting her to sleep would be easier on everyone.

Let's see what tomorrow brings now

Micci, hope you get it sorted soon. I thought the 2's were meant to be bad, but we came through them unscathed and then I thought it would be the 3's which were worse than the 2's but they are NOTHING compared with the 4's

OP posts:

SmugColditz · 21/05/2008 22:12

welll, she went to sleep that's the main thing. Perhaps she's needng you a bit more at the moment.

TracyK · 21/05/2008 22:12

I lie with my ds - also 4 - dh thinks I make a rod for my own back. But it keeps him in bed, in the dark and eventually he nods off. Otherwise he would be the same - up and down like a yoyo.

Are all your lo's only children? I can empathise with my ds as he doesn't want to be left in his room alone when mummy and daddy are having fun without him watching tv etc.

micci25 · 21/05/2008 22:12

lol my dd1 started the terrible twos at about 18 months and they have been slowly getting worse.

she too has gone to sleep she gave up on having clean pj's either that or she has got some out of her drawers and changed them herself! i continued to ignore her but she wasnt really screaming hysterically just shouting down the stairs that she needed clean clothes so i kept ignoring her till she stopped if i responded it would have gone on all night there is always something she 'needs' at bedtime

cory · 22/05/2008 20:30

Dd was difficult to get to sleep until she was at least 5 and I did use to lie with her. After that, we moved little brother into her room which helped, but is obviously not a solution if you haven't got a little brother.

Until very recently she was still having the odd evening when she needed a lot of reassurance and my sitting with her- but then she does have chronic pain, so not that typical.

Sometimes when things were particularly bad, I'd give up and let her come into my bed . Yes, I know about binding rods for my back, but my stamina is limited.

OrmIrian · 22/05/2008 20:33

I usually find that tantrums end up frightening the child more than anything else. A cuddle and hair stroking calms them down IME. Whether you are in the mood to cuddle and be nice to them after half an hour of tantruming is another matter

And I agree with Cory. Mummy's bed is good. But I have no problems with DCs going to sleep in my bed. Not an issue as all of them have done it until they grew out of wanting to.

Flip