My DD is 5 years old. This morning I was helping her get dressed but she wasn't paying attention and it was like trying to dress a doll. She was in a good mood otherwise. My back was hurting from bending so I told her to pull her own trousers up. This sparked world war 3. She threw herself to the floor, screaming, rolling around. Kicked off the trousers. Said she wouldn't do it. Literally 0 to 60 in seconds. And this happens several times a day, every day, with any task.
I literally don't know how to cope with this behaviour. It's like I'm on eggshells. As soon as there's any demand, you tell her or even ask her to do something, she says no, whines, then eventually she throws herself to the floor and starts rolling around screaming and/or whining.
We went shopping recently I said no to buying something and the same thing happened. DH had to physically carry her out of the shop.
My MIL said that she's had some success with trying to make a competition of things by saying "bet you can't put them on" but that doesn't work all the time and to be honest I don't want to spend my life contriving competitions to get her to do simple tasks, it's not practical.
Mentally I am really struggling and cry most days because of this. I'm scared of having a bad relationship with her. I think she might be neurodivergent, and for reference I am autistic as well.
We also have a severely disabled older child who I'm the main carer for. In terms of support we only have one set of grandparents who go on 10-15 holidays a year particularly this time of year so have very minimal family support. We are currently interviewing PAs to help with DS.