Hello,
I’ve name changed for this one. My DS is 3, almost 4. He’s sociable, clever and emotionally intelligent; just to preface.
He’s always been independent. As a new born he loved his own space, slept in the Moses basket and the next to me with no issues and we also had a lot of contact naps as he was my first and I could give him that time.
My issue (or maybe it’s not an issue) is when he’s upset, maybe after his sister has done something to him for example, he wants to be alone. I understand I should let him regulate, give him space if he’s asking for it, let him be on his own if that’s what he wants. But it feels very unnatural to me. I want to scoop him up and cuddle him. Is this normal? This could last a long time as well, sometimes up to an hour of me trying to approach him and him asking me to leave him alone. And sometimes I can set him off again. On the flip side, if he’s become upset and hit me or his sister for example, I will tell him off and then he asks for a cuddle which I always give him.
He tends to get upset about what I perceive to be non issues but he obviously feels they’re massive. For example, recently I said something like ‘you can go in the garden if you want’ as I was opening the back door. It’s met with ‘I don’t want to go in the garden, I’m not doing that. You’re a naughty, rude mummy etc etc’. This is one example of many non issues which can end with him hitting, throwing and speaking like that. I always give an appropriate consequence and we always discuss what has happened after. Again, is this normal? He’s very articulate so I feel he could just tell me what’s going on or what’s wrong.
He goes to a preschool nursery and the teacher said he’s very good at regulating and doesn’t have tantrums or outbursts there.
This is way longer than I anticipated but thank you if you’ve read this far. Any insight or tips would be appreciated!