My daughter is behind on milestones and I’m worried. Need some reassurance!

[NinaBananaMama]

Hi all, my daughter is 16 months old in a few days and apart from a few steps here and there doesn’t walk independently yet. She is wonderful at cruising around furniture and walls but refuses to walk. Her speech is also non existent. She will babble a lot and said ‘mama’ on a few occasion and perhaps a couple of animal noises but not much more. Every time I research it the internet tells me she’s autistic. She was born at 36weeks and was a little unwell her first year due to allergies. She is a very happy and alert baby, laughs all day with her older sister and loves hugging all her toys before bed etc. I just feel like her older sister was far more advanced at that age… any reassurance words or words would be hugely appreciated! 🙏🏻

Is she pointing? How us her receptive language? Does she follow commands ?

My first DS didn’t talk till past 2 years old, as he was our first we didn’t know any different, but at his check up health visitor expressed concerns. We then noticed we would get him things,, like drinks, food, tv when he pointed, rather than let him ask, so as a a whole family we stopped and sure enough he started talking, he never crawled but walked at 11 months, but his brother crawled and didn’t walk till much later, they all achieve milestones at different times.

I think just asking what the above poster has put. Does she wave/point? Does she understand spoken instructions? Does she look if you call her name?
my daughter is autistic and she would make eye contact with me but not people she didn’t know?
purely being slow with walking and talking isn’t the only signs.
does she do any repetitive movements? Stimming comes in a lot of forms, my daughter used to spin a lot and put eyes to the corner but she didn’t flap her hands and still doesn’t at 7. She vocal stims mainly so singing or making noises or repeating phrases but obviously your child isn’t speaking yet.

Speak to health visitor

I'm not really clued up on autism but from just a mum with 3 kids perspective they all do things at different times. My first daughter was fast with speech (full sentences at 18 months) but slow on walking confidently (14 months). My son was super fast at walking at 10 months (!) But at just turned 3 his speech is only now really progressing. My littlest is only 5 months but she is very responsive to smiles and laughing and new faces and objects, but not rolling etc. I would try not to worry too much as sometimes they think a lot more than they show. They are almost taking it all in ready to show you what they've learnt when the final piece of the puzzle twigs with them. Maybe at 2 if things haven't progressed look at it again then. She could be one thing one day and then literally change over night!

Try not to stress, my son only said a handful of words until around 2 years. I was worried and brought it up with the health visitor at his 2 year review and he absolutely wasn’t bothered, said it wasn’t a concern for a good few years as he was interactive in other ways, walked, played etc. It wasn’t until he went into Nursery that his speech actually started to come along, he’s now 4 and absolutely fine and on track. Also my middle sister didn’t walk until nearly 2, hardly spoke until she was 3, took ages to potty train, turns out she was just lazy, she’s a biomed scientist now and much smarter than me who reached milestones really early 😂

My DS didn’t speak til he was 18 months, walk til he was 15 months (and only cos I pushed him into it) and was in nappies til he was 3. No sign of autism and he’s now a dentist. Children do things at their own pace. If she’s engaged otherwise I wouldn’t worry too much.

I feel like I could have written this! Same age daughter and exact same situation, in-fact health visitor rang me again today to see if her speech has improved (it hasn’t)

I know it doesn’t help but try not to stress, don’t google anything, they are still so so young and we just have incredibly high expectations.

its likely she’s not autistic, but if she is, so what? there’s nothing you can be doing now that your probably aren’t already anyway!

you got this mama 💕

Get your HV involved if you're concerned and see if the area you're in do a portage service. My son is in portage and is progressing so well. He's under speech and language complex needs team too. I started all of this at 2. There is often a wait list for portage in my area and now he starts nursery in September. He can say alot more words and though it's obvious he's autistic he can make a choice between 2 things and follow a now and next board thanks to portage. HV might try fob you off because of age but push them for help etc they will help albeit reluctantly at first.

I really wouldn’t be worried at this stage, and I certainly would not be jumping to autism.
My daughter (also prem, 34.5 weeks) didn’t walk till 17/18 months. I don’t think she had much speech either. Her speech development exploded around 20 months.

Please don't worry - it's such early days. I had a terrible time when my son was 4 years old - he really struggled to settle in school and his teacher totally pathologised it. He also struggled with reading for most of primary school and hated birthday parties. He's now a very well adjusted teen, sociable, doing well at school and and I feel confident he'll be fine when he heads off to university in the autumn. Worrying won't change anything - at least not in a positive direction. They all develop so differently and having an older sister looking out for her might mean she has less need for speech!

My eldest didn’t walk until nearly 2. Absolutely nothing wrong with him - just hyper flexible and therefore not as strong. Speech was definitely lagging behind others too. Neither are an issue now - I can’t shut him up and he’s massively sporty. Please don’t worry!

Stop trying to diagnose your child from google searches.

If you have concerns take them to a doctor and discuss it.

The average age for walking is 14 months so she isn’t late.

my very verbal and will not stop talking daughter wasn’t very verbal until 18 months.

neither of those are signs of autism , they’re potential signs of global delay.

my eldest is autistic, walked and talked as expected (was actually very advanced with speech at 3),

some early signs of autism can be walking on tip toes, not pointing/waving, not making eye contact or responding to their name.

BUT most signs of autism are also just signs of being a toddler.

• eta, my autistic son is currently sitting his GCSE at a top grammar, he’s smart, kind funny and I have zero doubts that he will go on to have a full and wonderful life. An autism diagnosis although tough isn’t always bad. With the right support a lot of kids can lead a ‘normal’ life

DS eventually walked unaided at 18.5 months, and had speech therapy when quite young, he’s now a doctor. Your child will do her own thing in her own time. Try not to worry, enjoy her 💐