nearly two and has either got terrible two's or I am doing something wrong???

[lozzawoo]

Hi!

My little boy is two in april and everytime u tell him off he laughs at u or throws himself or his toys around the room. He will not go in shops for food etc... all he does is scream so nothing gets done. He snatches and if he cant get his own way he hits himself on the head with his hands. I am running out of ideas with him and sometimes feel that I cannot cope as I am a single parent. Does anybody have a similar child to mine???

Thanks Laura.

they have just learned how to push the boundry's this is the time to see who wins mum or them,good luck

Mine is 2 in march and has HUge strops

My ds will be 3 in April and can be the sweetest thing but throws HUGE tantrums if he doesnt get his own way. He even started spitting at us! We deal with it by ignoring it completely so that he doesnt get any reaction from us at all. He soon calms down but it is very irritating. If it is any consolation they all go through it and nursery soon sorts it out, I think. (BTW the spitting has stopped! )

laura, i started a thread about this last week and got some great advice. my dd is 2yrs 3 mths (thread called 'toddler hitting and shouting' if you want the read it)

some told me to put her in her room for 2-3 mins, or the naughty step on the stairs. this sometimes works, if they are playing therefore they cant play any more.

others told me to ignore and walk away, this worked better for me. my dd would go nuts if i was making the tea, etc, cos i wasnt giving her my 100% attention. she would just give up and do something else.

its hard when you are in public, if you are doin g the shopping, there are only a certain number of things you can do

carry on, ignoring him, its usually stares from others that bothers you most, but they are probably sympathising, even though it doesnt feel like it

ditch the trolley and just go home.

leave him on the floor of shop to have tantrum, turn your back, examining interesting display of apples

use tesco.com! a fiver for delivery but worth every penny

ditto everything nailpolosh has said. Ds was 2 last week and he often laughs when we tell him off.

When he laughs we look very sad and upset (but stay very calm) hold both his hands (if possible to do so without resorting to violence - not always possible!), look into his eyes and tell him off again. God, you have to be a good actor in this game!

We also ignore it when it just seems to be attention seeking, like np said. And we shop online - cos I hate supermarket shopping too and I would kick and scream given half the chance! Oh yes, and we have conversations together (maybe you could pick up the phone and pretend to talk to a friend) either about something completely different or about how a good boy would behave (trying to make it sound annectdotal - you know, "I once knew this really good boy who always put his cars away and he got to have a bath with his mummy")

I like to remind myself "what is the worst that can happen?" If I say no, and he screams, that's it. That's the worst that can happen. And if he screams he also learns that mummy doesn't give in to screaming, and that's the very best that can happen!

Also, I know people say they are too young for star charts, but ds does seem to understand. When we had a problem before Xmas, we gave him rewards from him advent calendar. We kept the instruction very simple so that he could repeat it ("no crying, get special treat") and we really really kept to it, which meant some heartbreaking times with him screaming for his special treat! And now we just have to use our well worn, simple phrases (such as "no crying") to remind him.

HTH, ds does seem to be calmer and happier now. But then again I can't believe I am writing this, when I am at home today basically cos I couldn't bear the thought of work cos I feel like I'm so crap at everything that I'd have ended up crying all day - so feel free to ignore anything I say!

have just remembered somethin interesting someone told me

children this age think emotional extremes are really fascinating, ie if you cry, they think its very amazing (they dont really see the connection of their bad actions and you crying) they will therefore stop and watch you cry if you do. then give you a cuddle to watch your reaction to that. its the same with anger, ie if you shout at them.

im not saying they dont know they are being naughty, they just find it all very interesting. so if you dont give them a reaction, they will find it all very boring and go and do something else. so ignore, carry on with something with your back turned to them and they will not be able to hold back from thinking ' what is she doing thats more interesting than my tantrum?' and come and have a look. Yawn if you need to, and say 'this is SO boring, you shouting and screaming!

hope this all makes sense

Thanks for all your great comments! I will try them

Mine are exactly the same as yours. I don't go shopping with children, but if you are a single parent you probably can't avoid it. Have you tried online shopping at least for your weekly shop?