I'm in a dummy mess.

[SCL]

DS1 didn't have a dummy. DS2 broke collar bone during delivery and I was told a dummy would soothe and comfort him until it mended. 4 months on he loves his dummy but it is driving me mad constantly running in to his room to put it back in when it falls out. He has it for nap times but not at bedtime (as he falls asleep easily without it at bedtime) but yells and yells at nap time until he has it or if it falls out. I know he will eventually reach the age when he can put it in himself but I don't want him to get to that stage and would like to be rid of it asap. Is cold turkey the best option or is that mean?

Thanks.

Hi, I was told not to leave babies cry until 5 months as thats when they start to understand the difference between being distressed and just doing it for the sake of getting comfort, my advice was given for controlled crying though, but I expect it's the same for the dummy?

I would say leave him cry for 5 mins, go in and soothe him, then 10 mins, then 15, then every 15 mins after that, it worked for me after 3 days..... Obv. ot doesn't work fr everyone though!

Good luck!

How often during the average nap do you have to put it back in again?

Thanks Jodie, I think you're right, it is probably a case for controlled crying - I think subconsciously I sort of know this is coming but wish I could turn back the clock and spit out the dummy at say 2 months! However I suppose he was hooked on it then too.

Seeker, I put the dummy back in a least 3 times in the AM trying to get him to sleep and worst case it probably could be 8 times a nap until he is asleep. NOT GOOD.

I think I need to be brave but it is hard especially as DS1 is having a tough time accepting baby so I think I am probably putting the dummy in too quickly so as to keep DS2 a bit quieter. Feel v guilty - 1. for ruining older son's life by having another baby and 2 for not perhaps giving younger son enough attention ...is this normal?

SCL, my DS is now 20 months and I'm 32 weeks pregnant with DS2, I feel that all the time! I just think that DS1 would be such a spoilt brat if he was an only child, so in the long run it will be better! No one says it's easy!

As for the whole dummy thing, don't feel bad, it's not going to kill him, and at the end of the day you're only doing what you think is right at the time, esp as he was in pain when born! Guilt is what we are all supposed to be feeling all of the time!! Just go with the flow and you'll be fine (at least thats what I keep telling myself!)

Congratulations!

True, the guilt factor is a major part of being a mother and it isn't easy but it is all worth it. I think it is the tiredness factor that makes things harder and actually when I look back at my emails I think what a tiny thing it is that I am fussing over.

Thanks for your help.