1 year old ‘jealous’ in nursery. Whats normal? How can I help at home?

[Sohoho]

My son has been at nursery since the beginning of the year and has grown quite fond of one the nursery practitioners. It’s been mentioned to me that he will get jealous if this practitioner is holding another baby and he sees this (he will stop what he’s playing with, walk over and want picking up etc. Once he’s picked up he’s happy again).

Is this typical behaviour? I’m surprised it is, if they’ve mentioned it to me a few times already.

Is there anything I can do at home to help him with this? I would hate for this to worsen as we do plan to have more children and obviously this will mean sharing his mum and dad 😄

Honestly I’m not sure. Hopefully though someone will be along soon who has experience

I would say the nursery need to be managing this and supporting him with adjusting to sharing his carer. His only experience is being the only child so they just need to nurture and support him.

Not sure there’s anything you can do OP. Hopefully it’s just a phase and I would take it as a positive that he really gets on well with the staff and feels comfortable with them. Are nursery happy with everything?

No personal experience but from what I’ve seen with friends there will likely be an element of jealousy that plays out when pfb has to share their parents attention - I think that’s normal and there are lots resources available to hep with that

I would say this specific issue is probably primarily for nursery to manage, unless they have suggestions for how you could help at home. He's too young for you to talk to him about it before or after the fact.

More broadly, especially as you say you want more children, how much does he see you (and his other parent) interacting with or holding other children? Does he see you playing with nieces and nephews, friends' children, baby group friends? It's obviously nowhere near the same as when a baby brother or sister appears, but it at least sets up the idea a little bit.

I don't think it's unusual.

I used to nanny two children (separately, so on different days) but I also used to volunteer at a creche they both attended.
I frequently ended up with one child on each knee (knees as far apart as possible)glaring at each other. Rather strangely they didn't react like that if their Mummy picked another child up, nor did any of my dc mind me picking another child up.
That phase lasted a couple of months and soon they weren't as bothered.

How much does he see you interact with other people, especially other children? For example, if you’re with your friends or family, do you immediately stop what you’re doing if he wants attention? Is all the attention always on him?

How much does he see you and your partner together, talking to each other? Do you immediately stop if he wants you? Or again, is the attention constantly on him?

I’d keep it fairly casual, but just make sure you don’t always drop what you’re doing the second he wants you (need is different to want!). Ensure he sees you talking to other people too.

It can be hard with an only child, I know, especially if he’s also the only child, or only very young child, in the wider family and friend group, because he’s not used to sharing adult attention.