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Behaviour/development

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16 month old DD - what’s typical and what’s not?

3 replies

VillageFete · 28/04/2025 10:37

Annoyed with myself for even posting this. I swore I wouldn’t go down a rabbit hole and i’d enjoy my final child but here I am and would appreciate your input.

She’s not pointing. She doesn’t point to request or show interest- however, she very often has her index finger in the “point” position but doesn’t do it.

In a nutshell- is this a problem? She’s 17 months next week. She surely should be pointing. An example, she was tired last night and saw I had her bottle of milk. She just whinged and cried and that was her way of telling me she wanted milk, she didn’t gesture.

Her tantrums around food are off the scale. When a meal is finished there’s hell to pay. It’s definitely a very intense tantrum and she takes a while to snap out of it. She’s not easily distracted.

Here’s why I get confused because her language is good. But shouldn’t pointing come before language? Her social awareness is good too and she’s very switched on. But where’s the bloody pointing?

If something interesting happens then she looks to me for a reaction. If a phone rings she pretends to answer it and says “Hello” She claps at appropriate times, waves bye bye, says bye bye, says hello and waves hello.

Repeats lots of words. If I ask her to say a word; she can say it. Understanding seems fairly good - for example “Where’s the light?” She looks at it and says “There it is”
“Where’s your head?” Touches her head.
She counts to 3 and if she does something she’s proud of, she instigates clapping - She’s learning to walk and after a few steps she wants you to clap.

But why is she doing all of this but no pointing? Isn’t that the pinnacle of typical development and shouldn’t it come before all of the above? Is it strange that she’s saying words but not pointing?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
GoldenRosebee · 28/04/2025 11:48

Does she looks back at you? For example, when you have her bottle of milk, does she look at you when she cries? I'm not really the expert, but it is important if she looks at you?
Something you can try, is - keep stuff slightly out of reach but within eyesight - like toy - if she wants it, would she look at the toy then look at you and make sound about toy?

VillageFete · 28/04/2025 12:39

@GoldenRosebee Thanks for replying. Do you know what I feel like i’m so busy that i’m not fully noticing things with her. She’s my 3rd child and life’s hectic and I genuinely feel as though I don’t stop and notice things that I should.

What I do know is that if her favourite programme comes on, or if something interesting happens with an older sibling, she’ll look at me, then look back at the programme or whatever is taking place. Does she do it with milk or a toy - I haven’t noticed, but to be honest she just goes and gets what she wants!

She was eating peanut butter toast before, I asked for some, she didn’t want to share 😂 But she tapped my hand as if to pretend to give me it? So I think she understands what I meant.

OP posts:
GoldenRosebee · 28/04/2025 12:45

I'm just about to start trying to have 1st in few months, so no experience there. Finger crossed everything is fine at her next HV appointment, but in meantime, you can fill this milestones checklist: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/digital-online-checklist.html

I would pick 15 months checklist then fill it out.

Digital Online Checklist

Choose the online milestone checklist for the age of your child.

https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/milestones/digital-online-checklist.html

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