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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Has anyone successfully introduced a comforter?

28 replies

Again · 17/05/2008 21:32

My 11 month old ds has never been interested in teddies or fluffies of any description. I was reading No cry solution about introducing a comforter as a way to help them self-settle, by putting it between yourself and baby when breastfeeding. When I do he pulls it out and flings it away though!

I've seen lots of babies with comfies and wonder whether babies develop attachments to them themselves or whether parents have encouraged it? Has anyone with a particularly uncuddly baby managed to introduce one?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

squeaver · 17/05/2008 21:37

My dd has a little cloth doll that she sleeps with every night. She's had it since she was a couple of weeks old.

It was given to her by a friend who's a maternity nurse and she got me to sleep with it for a couple of nights so that it smelled of me when I gave it to her. Might be worth a try?

She is now 3.5. Has never had a night without it. It's not allowed out of the bedroom as I live in fear of her losing it!!

hana · 17/05/2008 21:39

dd1 ended up with a blankie at about 18 months - not sure why but she won't be without it now

dd2 started copying her at about 2, so she has a different blankie

am waiting for dd3 to warm up to the idea.....

calvemjoe · 17/05/2008 21:44

Dd didn't like any of the comforters that I have tried to introduce to her, but has recently fallen in love with a leapad book that she puts over her face when she's falling to sleep - imo, the child chooses the comforter.

Original poster

Again · 17/05/2008 21:45

Hmm sounds promising hana. And were they naturally 'cuddly'?

OP posts:

davidtennantsmistress · 17/05/2008 21:47

yup, ds was er 10/11 months when he had his first 'ted' which his granny knitted him, I added a blankie at about 1, and he's not let either go since. he'll settle without blankie - just, but woe betide us if I forget ted!

I asked mil to knit another which she dutifully has done, but DS won't touch it - it's the exact same but it's not his ted, no matter how much XH & I encourage it.

glucose · 17/05/2008 21:54

Had to get a blankie as at 6months DD would pull a sock of and rub it under her nose when she was out in her buggy, or stick the sock between her mouth and dummy. She loves blankie.

Eaglebird · 17/05/2008 22:37

DS likes holding a muslin cloth when he goes to sleep. Glad he's become attached to a cheapo muslin, and not a fancy teddy bear or swanky blankie. I've got about 20 muslins, so it's not a major drama if he dribbles or pukes on his current muslin, as I can just give him a clean one and he's none the wiser.

accessorizequeen · 17/05/2008 22:44

With both of mine they chose the comforter although I certainly left lots lying around for them to choose from as I too read that book! Nearly all children do gravitate to something that they're comfortable/secure with, just a question of time. DS1 had a soft bear and ds2 has a taggie blanket (I think they were over 1 when they got keen). I seem to remember the bear slept with me for a while which may have made it more attractive to him?

BigBadMouse · 17/05/2008 23:00

With DD1 she just hooked onto a particular toy that I used to routinely put in her cot at about 3-4 months old. I rushed out and bought another as soon as I suspected it had become 'the one'. Whatever you do choose something you can have two of and interchange them so that they both wear equally. Having two mean she always had a comforter while one was in the wash. Aged 3.5 she discovered there were two and now will only sleep with two though .

DD2 sounds a bit more like your DS. She is less cuddly with people but more anxious than her sister. Tried everything to settle her to sleep (she is a terrible sleeper) including introducing a comforter between me and her while BF - she pulled it out and flung it away too (seemed to find it very irritating). Damn HV told me to give her my t-shirt I had worn while doing pre-bed BF and that was it - she fell for it almost immediately we had tried all sorts before. I now have no t-shirts, they have to be mine, have to be t-shirts and I am NOT allowed to wear them myself. Wish I had been waering a muslin .

nappyaddict · 17/05/2008 23:30

i introduced a muslin by putting one in my bra so it got my smell on it.

misdee · 17/05/2008 23:33

dd3 didnt have one until she was about 18-24months old, when i noticed she was hunting out the silky tags on things. she would spend ages rubbing the tag on her bunny rabbit. so i got her a taggie blanket. since then she has had a couple more given/bought for her, but she always goes back to the original one, and is she cant find it, she will go get her old cot blanket and fiddle with the tag on that, or the one on her pillow.

MrsJohnCusack · 18/05/2008 00:11

both of mine selected their own comforters around 13-14 months

they;ve been given a few options and chosen one in particular - a hippo for DD and a small blue bunny for DS

hana · 18/05/2008 14:16

again - dd2 not a cuddly baby at all and still isn't very affectionate. often wipes kisses off or tells me she only likes being kissed on certain days. odd child. but quite likes her blanket (it's a taggy)

horseymum · 21/05/2008 20:29

muslin cloth - always used them when breast feeding then left it in cot from about 12 weeks old i think , they are so thin they can breathe through them if they pull them up over their faces which ds did all the time. he still has one (aged3!)but only for sleeps or long car journeys. It is great and an instant cue to relax and be sleepy, even in a strange place. dd is not so mad keen on it but likes it . cheap, easily washed and replaceable, probably v. important if they get very attached.

Pitchounette · 21/05/2008 21:18

Message withdrawn

fizzbuzz · 21/05/2008 21:20

I put a small bunny in dd's bed at about 7 months old. She formed an immediate strong bond with it...so strong I lived in fear of loosing it.

I bought another one just in case. She discovered it before I had chance to hide it...so then 1 bunny became 2.

I then lived in fear of the same, so bought one more...Yes she discovered that one as well......now has a litter of bunny comforters.........that all have to be with her...nightmare.

Be careful....be very careful....

upallnightagain · 21/05/2008 21:35

I agree with above!! I live in fear that my dds blue bear comforter will go missing . The company who makes them have stopped making this particular one and she will not accept imposters!!From about 10 months we realised she would not sleep with out it . it is quite sweet and blue bear is very helpful on long boring car journeys etc but if it goes missing she will be soooo distressed !!! ps we bought it her for xmas when she was 3 months and it was always in her cot after that ( with other cuddly toys ) where she must developed an attachment.

Umlellala · 21/05/2008 21:36

I did encourage dd to cuddle her bear/etc as part of night-time routine (similar age, maybe bit older?). She now (aged 2) goes to bed with an assortment of bear, dolly, and various other toys... but she is not 'attached' to any of them (as we thankfully realised when we left dolly at nanna's ). It does help her sleep happily - eg 'mummy is going downstairs, you can cuddle dolly...'

I did really want dd to have a comforter cos I thought it would help her sleep away from me but tbh, I think I was her comforter (she loved to sleep with her arms round my neck - eek), especially when she was very little

fizzbuzz · 21/05/2008 21:36

I have this fear in triplicate

Hold on to 2 sets of bunny ears, and the other in her arms..........

bran · 21/05/2008 21:42

We attached ds to a soft toy (named Curly) at about a year old. I kept it nearby all the time and everytime he needed to be comforted, eg when he bumped himself, I would pick him up and get Curly. I'd kiss the bump better and Curly would kiss the bump better and then I'd cuddle him and Curly together until he stopped crying. He started to associate Curly with being comforted and was happy to cuddle him while falling asleep. Once he was attached I bought two more Curlys.

upallnightagain · 21/05/2008 21:46

the other negative factor with dd comforter is if she can not find it or it falls out of her cot during the night , she lets out the biggest ,spine chilling scream . We therefore have to get up and retrieve it .....

PeasForTeaAgain · 21/05/2008 22:11

I too wld really recommend muslins. We realised that DD1 (now 3) wanted a blankie when she kept clutching at anything in her cot at a few months old. I tied the muslin to the cot bars so that she couldnt stuff it all down her throat and choke, or wrap it round her neck etc, and it calmed her instantly - she just held the very end by her cheek. DD3 (6 months) has just started having hers tied to the cot... works a treat if you use one while breastfeeding. If you don't it still might work? Horseymum obivously had the same idea
So now, people are very amused to find we have 25 white ones, then 8 blue 8 green and 8 yellow so that we can make sure blankie-theiving and 'sharing' doesn't happen during the day. If they get dirty, or used as hankies, they go straight in the wash and a new one comes out! They work like instantly like drugs on our kids, if crying, tired etc. Not that I have ever tried drugs can I just clarify.

harpomarx · 21/05/2008 22:17

another vote for muslins (whoops, nearly typed 'muslims', couldn't work out why it looked wrong!)

that was dd's first comforter, breast milk smell as various people have said. She was a lot younger than your ds. Then moved on to my favourite teeshirt, had to cut it up to make safer

then chose a soft rabbit for her which she still has but it is not no 1 comforter any more.

as you can see, dd was easily manipulated - know plenty of people who would have killed to get their kids to choose a comforter, they never did.

glamourbadger · 21/05/2008 22:24

My twins love these. Hours of entertainment fiddling with the little tags and nice and soft to cuddle up to.

ExtraFancy · 21/05/2008 22:37

My DS has a Taggie blanket but it can usually be found flung over the side of the cot . Also tried muslins, t-shirt worn while BFing before bed, teddies etc but he's just not interested yet. (he is 9mo)

He can settle himself quite easily without one though, even in the cots at nursery which seemed to come as a surprise to the nursery manager!

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