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Behaviour/development

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toddler hair pulling

4 replies

tomps · 02/01/2003 21:48

14 mth dd has been pulling other people's (me, dp, friends, strangers ...) hair for several months. Seemed to make progress with 'NO' + showing her to stroke instead + giving attention to the victim, and not too concerned previously as she seemed too young to be doing it deliverately or with malice. But has started up again with a vengeance, I think because of leniency over xmas with grandparents and not seeing other little people for a while, so me & dp get most of it. And she definitely knows what she's doing - she'll choose to do the stroke / cuddling instead then she'll grab a fistful of hair and yank it - looking straight at me for the response ! It seems that the bigger a deal we make of it, the better effect it is for her as she gets more attention. The really weird thing is she pulls her own hair (what little there is of it) - really hard, but it doesn't seem to bother her. Does anyone else have similar experience ... biting seems really common problem (she does this too but much less), but I couldn't find any threads about hair pulling - is it only us ?!

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Chinchilla · 03/01/2003 21:25

No, my ds loves doing it too. Nothing has any effect, and I am just waiting for it to stop, along with the smacking!

dot1 · 06/01/2003 09:31

our 13 month ds is just the same - and it's so embarrassing when other children his age don't seem to do it and he's looking like a thug..!

We've been encouraging the 'stroking' thing aswell - works some (but not all) of the time...

Let's hope it's a phase, and our dear children aren't going to become professional wrestlers!

Temptress · 06/01/2003 10:12

I think its just a stage a lot of them go through. My daughter certainly loves to pull hair and even me saying no makes no difference. I just gently detach hair from hand and put her down so that she gets the message!

tomps · 10/01/2003 00:00

Cheers for your messages - I'm glad it's not just my little angel ! It's really getting me down at the moment though. I'm a 'stay at home'er and try to make sure we mix with lots of little people as she's not having a nursery or childminder experience. But whenever we do get together with other mums and crawlers / toddlers, it becomes stressful and awkward as she pulls the other kids' hair and (quite often) makes them cry. And of course it must be my fault. Ho hum, just one of those things.

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