I have a DS who is just 5 and we had a very strong bond since he was born. He’s only just really started accepting DH much more than he ever did.
DD is just 2 and obviously, mine and DS’ constant time together is less because I have to spread myself between them both, as DD is also very clingy with me and rejects DH most of the time, won’t even let him pass her something, change her nappy or be the first person in her room of a morning.
To be alone with DS, he’s usually lovely but for a while now, he’s been hurting DD and I’m at my wits end as to what to do. His big thing is pushing her out of nowhere - he might take umbridge at something she’s said as being ‘wrong’ or because he can’t get his own way. It’s usually a very forceful shove or he might hit her, coupled with an angry tone of voice / shouting.
Yesterday, he pushed her off a dining chair and today said he liked it when he did that. Today he pushed her near the top of the stairs which could’ve ended horrifically, if DH wasn’t there (we don’t leave them alone). He also sent her flying because she wouldn’t let him have something she was playing with.
He isn’t just hurting her however, he’s also started hitting/kicking us if we say no to something and telling us we’re not his best friend anymore.
We remove him to a quiet place, talk to him about how he’d feel, made family rules that we got him involved in which include consequences for hurting each other and take away a toy for a set time. He will apologise for whatever it was but then he just constantly goes back to it soon after. A lot of the time he will laugh/smirk about it or if you’re trying to talk about it, just go off on a completely unrelated tangent. It’s happening every day.
I’m scared he’s going to really hurt her one day and I don’t know if this is a ‘normal’ phase or something to be more worried about.