My little girl is 9, I'll call her S her and her bestie (g) have been friends since they were 3. They are typical girls, laughing, giggling, inside jokes etc and it's always been the 2 of them. Each weekend is spent together usually at one house or another and myself and the other parents have to peel them apart to return home etc.
Recently another girl (l) has befriended G as they sat close together at school, this girls seemed to be lovely and she played with G and S as a trio from christmas time... until recently. Sjes recently became very dismissive of S and doesn't like the friendship that S and G have, she often requests private chats with G in which she calls S names and encourages her not to play with S, and asks G not to walk with her, sit with her at lunch or talk to her or have "jokes" (which arent about a child they usually just make silly noises, talk about their crush or play yellow car) This has been quite stressful for the children as G wants S to be included but L is becoming quite controlling. She's using phrases such as "well I won't talk to you then" to get G to comply. And G is starting to comply and where as she's not leaving S out fully she is definitely treating her differently when around L.
Come Easter we actually haven't seen her at all over the 2 week period which is very unusual - we've of course invited her as we always do but she kept saying no which set alarm bells off for me. As an only child she jumps at the chance to get out or come over! Yet she was going for L to play. Obviously upsetting S as she's used to being there. So I've had to say that right now she's choosing to play out elsewhere and encourage her to reach out to others. Sjes not short of friens but they aren't so close.
So today forst day back after Easter I was worried what she was gonna walk into at school, she was worried they'd not play with her. It seems that L has ignored her all day and pulled her hair when sat behind her and kicked her chair (she hasn't spoken to a teacher as she thinks it will stop although im not sure) her bestie has spoken to her and treated her like she always does and they left school huddled and talking , as soon as L seen and approached G left go of S and almost developed a second persona a really stand off ish stance and stern face and ran off to her dad's car.
It was the strangest thing to witness knowing this child as well as I do. I worry whats going on? I worry my child S is being targeted for having her as a friend, I think L is controlling and becoming very jealous almost causing a wedge between the girls and I worry that G isn't being herself around S and someone else around L. Maby that's normal for some children to be different around different friends and have different interests?
Maby I'm just reading too much into it as a mam who's navigating this for the forst time? I've spoken to G mam and she says she normal at home but before Easter came home in foul moods from school, shouting and crying over anything. Ls mam isn't so approachable I've tried to speak to her just be be friendly and she's very like "get on with it" Ls previous friend no longer speak to her and have cut all contact in and out of school so that makes me wary too.
Has anyone else experienced something similar and can offer advice. Or tell me if they think I'm over reacting.