5yr old ADHD signs?

[Cherryicecreamx]

Omg just had another full on day and my head is buzzing.

I'm wondering what is usual 5year old behaviour but I've also been suspecting if there could be something more to it - because I just don't get a break! I thought it would get eaiser as he gets older, but it hasn't (minus being at school of course). The constant need for entertainment I'm finding draining. Even after going out somewhere, it's always "what's next". You would have thought whatever it is would have worn him out. School included!

He's an only child and it is great when there is another child to play with but we don't always have this opportunity. He rarely plays on his own and if so not for long at all. He's not really intrested in the TV even if I want a bit of time. He opts for the imaginative play. And if I just crack on with doing something it is met with constant "mummy do this".

Today we've had a few meltdowns over such small things. I asked him to be quiet whilst I was in the middle of a conversation and then the same reaction when I ended up sitting next to him on a ride instead of his grandad.

I'm worried about raising someone who is spoilt acting up if he doesn't get his own way. I know my family do things "for an easy life" or to "keep the peace" so I can't blame him for getting used to this and perhaps acts up when I try to put in healthy boundaries.

So I keep weighing up what is simply normal child behaviour or if it is something more but I don't want to be quick to label as they say.

Anyway, any signs in the right direction / your experiences & advice will be m
ost helpful.

Two things that stand out from your post are that he’s great when another DC is there. I have two with ADHD. I wouldn’t jump to thinking he has ADHD if he’s ok when another DC visits although it’s not impossible, just sounds less likely.

The other is “when I try and put on some healthy boundaries”. If he’s used to having his own way and you’re not firm on where you stand he will be confused. DC do like firm boundaries, it makes them feel safe.

You say he’s had a couple of tantrums. The 5 year Social & Emotional Ages & Stages should give you an indication of whether this is normal or if he needs some support in that area.

WhatsApp are his days like? My DS was extremely active at that age. I always think that boys especially are like a bit like Labradors, exercise lots, feed well and firm rules.

i think my DS had something on every evening. Things like after school clubs and swimming. There now a Squirrel Scouts group from ages 4 to 6 and if he hasn’t tried Cricket yet now is a good time to start. Training is usually one night a week in the Summer and they love playing outside for an hour or so in the sunshine. Your local club will be able to tell you what’s on offer

As a society we have smaller families and start later so, I think, we've become unused to what normal, boisterous, child behaviour is. Also, kids aren't sent out to play in the street so it is a huge workload for parents to entertain them now.

My almost 4 year old sounds similar, great imagination but always wants us involved in the games. He's an only child so we are his playmates as far as he's concerned. When he gets together with cousins or friends it much easier going as they're more fun. As social animals we need company (most of us!) of all ages and increasingly this isn't the reality for our kids.

I totally empathise with you, it's exhausting as a parent. I don't think it's out of normal behaviour though. In fact your DS sounds lovely, bright, curious and energetic, all wonderful (if tiring) qualities. Can you set up playdates more frequently or join some clubs; beavers, drama or a sport? Something where he's supervised and with other kids? I know that's only a few hours here and there but it will set up further friendships groups to have playdates with in future holidays whilst he also tries hobbies out and learns skills. I know not wanting to watch TV means you don't get a break, but he sounds like a child who has a curious mind and will love learning new things. It will also help to have routine, 'X club on Monday evening' so he knows what's coming (and so do you!) Boundaries are important too. Kids need them to kick against to feel safe, to know who's in charge. Think of yourself as doing him a favour when you stick to them, because you are. Not always easy as parent, but keep consistent and it will pay off.

I say all this btw as someone with experience of ADHD both personally and professionally. Unless they're doing very dangerous stuff like setting fire to things or jumping off rooves etc at age 5, I wouldn't want to start diagnosing ADHD. Young children don't concentrate for long periods and need lot of both physical and imaginative play. As they move through juniors if he can't stay in his chair at school or keep on topic then maybe there's an issue. School will notice and if they aren't bringing it up with you I wouldn't worry too much. Good luck!

From my research I’d expect a number of ADHD kids actually love TV/video games, part of it is to do with issues in the release of dopamine and TV/video games hits the spot for some. Anyway they are all different.

I sometimes think my child has ADHD but he’s very different to yours, yes he has tantrums but not unbearably so but we’ve had very firm boundaries since he was tiny. Our reason for concerns is actually because he’s so forgetful, he still does not even remember to go to the toilet at age 5.5 (I feel sorry for school what they have to sort out and the messes he gets in, and I’m obviously fortunate in that they have not made a big deal out of it though I know it’s obviously not going away which is a shame), it’s the same at home basically he’s a child that’s not been in nappies for nearly 4 full years now and still can’t this skill.

He pretty much never remembers basic things like flushing or washing hands, if you ask him sometimes he’ll soap his hands and then walk out and then some minutes later realise he’s all soapy. Anyway you get the idea. Trying to teach him something like spitting after brushing teeth would be impossible and when there’s bigger issues these minor problems are last on our list.

It’s much the same for a lot of his other basic life skills, for some reason there’s more pressing issues in his brain, but as I understand even this could still be in the outer edges of what’s normal. If all I had to do was entertain him that would be great but unfortunately it feels like he takes up a lot of time just trying to complete a very basic task like finish dinner or putting on shoes.

Anyway children are exhausting and I hope like ourselves you one day get some answers.

*What are his days like?

OP your DS sounds a bit like my DD who is the same age except she has taken to getting her little brother involved in games so that helps at home. I personally think it might be to do with their little brains have woken up a lot going to school and they have so much stimulation/activities/friends there that they struggle to relax when they get home. Is there something he enjoys to do and can you give him a good chunk of time to do it? I've noticed my DD relaxs alot when we are out in nature and she has the freedom to explore (at the weekends) or she likes drawing so I can start her off and then sometimes she'll be able to focus on that for a while if she's not too tired. I'm not sure if that's helpful but I feel you OP. 5 year olds are exhausting! When DD is very tired it's almost like she gets even more energy and then crashes hard in the end. I've found reading books in bed helps or getting her to help with whatever I'm doing ie chores. Hopefully someone else will have better advice that I can tag onto too!