On the verge of a breakdown

[LR51021]

I'm on the verge of a breakdown and feel like leaving as i cannot take any more of my 3 year olds behaviour. Every single day is miserable, he doesn't listen, he screams and shouts, is defiant, hits us and the family dog and honestly, ruins everything we plan. We drove an hour to a new park today and I never got out the car, just sat and cried wishing I could drive away and leave them (son and his dad). I dread waking up every morning but also dread bedtime as it's a disaster and takes hours. I don't know what to do anymore. Nothing we say or do works. I hate my life the way it is just now. Please someone point me in the direction of resources to help, or give me any advice and I don't know how much more I can take.

Hello. A few things - firstly, perhaps you should try talking to your GP and getting (if you don’t already) a prescription for some antidepressants. Friend have had good success especially with the challenges of motherhood, with esctaliopram. It’s a gentle one and might help you. We go through so much with pregnancy and hormones and motherhood can be hard!

I was also wondering, perhaps your little one might either be going through a phase (I have two children) and the phases don’t last! You have to remember this. Some phases are challenging and some are lovely.

lastly, if it isn’t a phase, maybe your little one has behavioural needs and you could ask to it GP for a referral. Again I’ve seen this with a friends child.

lastly, take heart! It sounds like you need a break. Can you book some extra nursery days and do something you enjoy? Even if it’s reading a book or magazine in a coffee shop? Or ask your husband to take over for a few days while you take a break? Sometimes a little time out can help us enjoy and appreciate what we have.

good luck. And don’t worry. Motherhood is hard. Stay strong.

Really feel for you @LR51021. All of that sounds completely miserable. Has he been like this for a while or can you think of a time that his behaviour changed?

Does he go to Nursery? If he doesn’t I think it might be worth considering using your free hours, if they’re available where you are? This will give you a break but also they will be able to flag up any issues he may have there which will be useful before he starts school.

Is the HV keeping an eye on him? When did he have his last check with her?

I’d also recommend doing this simple progress checker. Speech & Language UK are a very well respected charity so if does say that he needs some support you can tell your HV and she should refer him for a hearing test and some SaLT.

For now though I wouldn’t bother with any days out, it doesn’t sound as though any of you are benefitting from these adventures, least of all you

@Mammamiamammamia thank you, I think I'll arrange a GP appt and talk it through with them. I really hope it's a phase as I can't keep doing this Jekyl and Hyde act, he was great today then I said he needed to get his nose cleaned before the skin became sore and when I tried to do it he slapped me. This is how the last month or so has been and it's so exhausting. I already work full time so I don't feel like it would be fair to arrange further childcare as I only really have an hour-ish in the morning, a couple in the evening then weekends to spend with him. Thank you for your kind words ❤️

@BunnyRuddington he has been getting progressively worse for a few months. Before it was just the usual naughty behaviour, saying no when asking him to tidy his toys or fighting bedtime but the last month has been awful. He is in nursery 3 days a week and is with family the other 2 as I work FT. The nursery have never mentioned any behavioural issues, or any issues at all. Haven't seen the HV in over a year.
I used the simple progress checker you linked and it says it looks like he is on the right track, there have never been any concerns with his speech, he has always been very articulate.
Big days out are definitely on the back burner but I'm not sure what I can do about the holiday we are due to go on in 2 weeks. Doci take the financial loss or go and hope for the best 🙁