Talking - should I be concerned/any of you have a slow starter? HELP/ADVICE

[doodledandy]

My DS2 is 15 months old and hardly tries to say anything. He has said mama a few times if I say it to him but doesn't use it to get my attention - he just shouts or tries to come and get me. He also cannot 'pass me the ball' or whatever - he doesn't take any notice and is quite self sufficient at times and always on the go, completely unlike my first son was. My first son was a real mummies boy, constant attention craving and talking by now - or certainly using lots of nouns and names. They are so different that I am getting a bit worried - should I be?

Exactly the same as my LOs. Ds1, massive vocabulary by 17-18m, extraordinary understanding of abstract concepts; dd large vocabulary, not quite such good understanding; ds2 burbled away happily, busy busy busy all day long, but no 'language' apart from one or two multipurpose 'words', and no understanding of even simple instructions.

I had a good think about it before panicking. And I realised that, what wiht the extreme sleep-deprivation dh and I (particularly I) were suffering until then, and the rush rush rush we're always in with 2 others to get to school etc, I was barely talking to ds2. Plenty of love and affection, but no "Let's put your sock on. Give me your foot, in it goes, bye bye foot, hallo shoe." etc. I made a big effort to start interacting that way, plenty of talking and getting down to his level to play, and so on, and within weeks his understanding expanded enormously and he is now, at 19m, picking up new words every few days.

here's some info from a respectable site:-

www.speech-language-therapy.com/devel1.htm

and

www.speech-language-the rapy.com/devel2.htm

15 months is still so young, especially for expressive speech (what your child says), but I would keep an eye on your DS's understanding, and (unless trying to test out his understanding!) back up what you say with gestures, pointing etc to help him learn the meaning of what you are saying. One thing to look out for in particular is whether your DS2 points by 18 months (pointing out things of interest to you).

General advice from books such as Babytalk is to try and spend 1/2hour per day concentrating on communicating with your child, following their lead with playing with toys etc.

no idea what is 'normal' but ds didn't talk in any sort of organised way till he was 2 and i was never worried about it. he was fairly swift after that though and able to converse by 2.5

I definately haven't talked to him as much as I did ds1, tats for sure. I will make more of an effort to give him some one-to-one and see if he advances a bit. He definately understands food related words I would say (ie raisins!)

Ds1 didn't really start talking until he turned 3. Was a little worried about him starting nursery and it did take a while for them to get the measure of him, since he wasn't very clear back then. He's now 4.7 and still incoherent when upset or excited or playing pretend.
I didn't talk until I was at school. My husband was 3.
Ds2 is coming up to 18 months and hasn't said anything yet.

DS is 15mo and only says "Dadadadadadad" (at great length), it hadn't occurred to me to be worried about it.

Thanks for the links - will have a look when I have a mo. Didn't want to ask my health visitor as don't want to draw attention to it too much.

I wouldn't worry too much yet, DS was a silent baby, never babbled, hardly cried, he didn't really talk till he was 2 and was then selectively mute till he was 4.

OK you found an SLT.

At 15 months you can't tell if a child has a language delay. You say he understands single words - that is fine for his age.

Don't worry and just enjoy playing with him and watching him develop!

If you are concerned any time in the next few months mention it to your HV - that's what they are there for.

Thanks, I feel reassured. He does understand single words. If I say 'Daisy, he looks around (correctly) for our dog.

There you go then.

Does he point to things (with his index finger)?

Message withdrawn

DC1 no words until 17-18 mths, dc2 sentences at 13 months (of three four words), at three they were pretty level. Don't worry.

15 months and you're worried? Mine's almost 2 and doesn't say anything, not even mama or dada.

chelsea - it's not that unusual for kids to just be "late talkers" - i.e. for all to magically come right by the time they are 3, particularly if they are pointing and understanding well. BUT I really would be looking for a speech therapy referral now (as it can take several months for an NHS appointment), in case things don't magically improve.

useful books you can read - parent's guide to speech and language problems by debbie feit, you make the difference by Ayola Manolson, baby talk by Sally Ward.

If you are anywhere near a surestart centre and have spare time during the day they often run courses to help you help your kid to communicate, so probably worth looking at going on that.

I see from colours thread chelsea that your DS was 3 months prem - in that case I wouldn't be as concerned, as he's not so close to 2 once you adjust the age.

Talkng is the tip of the iceberg - you need to look at the rest of the iceberg. Pointing, engaging in shared attention, spontaneous copying of adult, sharing interest, engaging in social gestures -waving hello and bye bye. I agree with TC, 'late talking' ( I mean very late) is to some extent an urban myth because usually the rest of the iceberg is there.

The only other thing I'd look for (from babytalk programme) is background noise - he needs at least some time 1 to 1 with an adult without background noise (radio, tv,etc), because at this age they often can't manage to exclude it to focus on word sounds.

Guess what folks - this week he suddenly started saying mama, go go, car, choo choo and dada and learnt to clap hands and wave. Bizarre - like someone turned on on his communication switch! . On the downside, he has started throwing himself on the floor and shouting and wailing if you stop him doing something that he has set his heart on (e.g. eating the dog's biscuits).

Hi Doodledandy, sounds like everything going in right direction. As another slt, i agree with ktnoo. Try to use short simple sentences when talking with your ds2, talk about what he is looking at so that the words he is hearing are linked to what he is seeing. i.e. talk about the hear and now. If he says a word, repeat it and add to it e.g. ds2- ''car'', doodledandy- ''it's daddy's car''.

My ds and dd were both early talkers (unsurprisingly!) but they didn't walk until after 15months! I think most children are either 'talkers' or 'walkers'. Did your ds2 walk early?

Yes he did actually, all he wants to do is walk and rough and tumble and explore and zoom. If I try and sit him on my lap to read him a book he just struggles to get away.

There you go. Your ds will have developed great gross motor skills which leaves him less inclined to want to sit down and 'do' things. Whereas, those dc's (like mine) who don't walk early have more time to listen to and develop speech - nothing else to do when you are sitting around on your bottom!

I'm sure you are doing all these things but might make you feel better that they will help his language: Continue to try to engage him in short activities to help develop his attention and listening. Looking at books is good if he will cooperate! Just talking about the pictures or naming things he points to. Turntaking activities like rolling a ball to each other, taking it in turns to blow/pop bubbles, etc. Ready, steady, go games - knocking over a tower after you say 'go'.

Even if he won't let you direct his play, just make comments on what he is doing e.g. 'ds is rolling over'.

Past my bed time so rambling a bit - sorry! Just have fun!!

Was talking babies with mum last weekend - got married last month and discussing ttc at moment.

Apprently, I refused to talk until I was almost 2.5yrs, babbled/blew raspberries a little as a baby but didn't really go through the stage of making sounds that most toddlers do, just went straight into words (by that points parents were apprently talking to me 24/7 so had lots of words to mimic!).

I seem to have turned out okay and never had any 'developmental difficulties' as I grew up so could just be a late starter.