give me hints on how to manage ds and new dd when dh goes back to work purleeeeeeeeze

[deaconblue]

Really enjoying having dd (2 weeks) and ds (2) BUT dh is still on paternity leave and we are doing stuff together. Am starting to dread him going back to work and worry about how I'll cope.
for example what do other people do about getting a shower in the morning? Am I going to have to give up morning showers? What other than TV do people do with the older one while bf baby? (not anti telly but not keen on putting it on for every feed)

I'm in a similar position to you. Have a ds 2.5 and 4 months dd. It is a bit of juggling act, I have resorted to the tv on occassion when bf dd, but ds is good at entertaining self for a short while.
I tend to have a shower at night when ds is in bed.
I'm still figuring out m&t group, too knackered to organise getting them both there!
good luck, it's lovely having 2 dc's

thanks, really hate evening showers as I still feel scuzzy in the morning. Will have to get used to it I think as I wouldn't be able to hear what ds was up to with dd from the shower. He's really into puzzles and stories so am planning to get the puzzles out for one feed, stories for the next etc and see how that goes. She takes about 30 mins per feed at the moment but if she's anything like ds was it won't be long before she manages to scoff a whole feed in 10 mins

I had a 20mnth age gap. The day DH went back to work he left me weeping on the sofa (having been up half the night with DD, then 6am start with DS plus both DCs just wanted to be held all the time) . But honestly it wasn't too bad.

Don't try to do too much else (housework etc) apart from look after the kids.

Learn to BF in any position (sitting on the floor, standing up, one handed). DS hardly noticed I was feeding as I carried on playing.

Carry baby in a sling to allow you to play with toddler.

Get out and about (baby in sling, toddler in buggy).

Try to get them to nap at the same time after lunch (push round in the buggy til asleep, then leg it back home to have cup of tea).

DS used to sit on my lap when I changed DDs nappies though .
Good Luck.

I had twins after having my DD1 and was on my own a lot. I tended to do the first feeds with DD in/on the bed with me and then jump in the shower straight after (always, always lay out breakfast stuff and everybodys clothes the night before). Then I juggled babies as me and DD1 had breakfast.

I painted, drew, did stories, played railways, barbie, glued, play doh at a big table so that I would always have everything I needed for DD1 in one place and didn't run around trying to tidy up the whole house.

I had a play gym, swing, rocker chair etc and would rotate babies from breast to one of them to lengthen the time they would be happy.

I let them cry sometimes. Sometimes, DD1 needed me, all to herself. And sometimes, she came first and they had to wait. They don't remember, she would have.

Bathtimes, I popped DD1 in the bath first and let the DTs kick, one at a time, nappy free, peeing everywhere as I tended to DD1. It was like a conveyor belt. If one vacated a position, the next one moved in.

Once I had dried DD1 and she was ready, I let her watch telly as I sorted the DTs.

She watched a whole heap more telly that I thought I would let her but, in the grand scheme of everything.......it was fine.....she got my attention throughout the day at different times. She learned that sometimes, she was priority and sometimes she wasn't and she learned that she wasn't plonked in front of the box to keep quiet.

It becomes a queueing system and you have to learn balance. Its the hardest thing because you want to give them all 100% but its fair.

Don't feel guilty. You have to share yourself and as long as everyone gets their bits of solo time, thats your best.

I put the kids in the sh0ower with me as soon as they could sit up.They love it, so do that with the toddler and let baby watch you.

Phew Grumpy, huge admiration!

Thank you scatty, just survival though and I certainly didn't do it like Mary Poppins and I certainly cried. I still do

Today is day 3 for me of dp back at work after paternity leave. I have a 24 month old dd and a 2 week old ds.

I was a bit nervous about dp going back, but save for a few wobbly moments it's been fine! And to be honest I had the odd wobbly moment with dd before ds was on the scene.

I've showered in the morning the same way I did pre-baby by setting dd up in her bedroom to read a book or do a jigsaw and told her that I'm just nipping in the shower and I'll come and see how she's getting on in 5 minutes when I'm done. She's safe in her room with the babygate shut. Then pop DS in his moses basket and have a quick shower.

While BFing DS I either chat to DD while she plays, or I sit on the floor with her, or she snuggles in too and I read her a book, or I do it while sitting at the table while she and I have lunch. If she gets bored or fed up I send her to do "jobs" eg getting mummy's phone from her bag, getting a clean muslin for the baby etc. We still go to her various toddler groups and activities, so most of the time it's easy as she's entertained anyway.

Putting the baby in the sling is a big help. My DS doesn't love the sling but we're working on it as sometimes you just need free hands.

DP is still being a big help eg by giving dd breakfast with him before he heads out to work.

I haven't completely got the hang of cooking the evening meal just yet so we're still a bit hit and miss with that, but honestly it's not as bad as I thought it would be. You just need to accept that things can take a bit longer, and you need to be a bit organised. Good luck!!

thanks everyone. I think you are right about being organised broccoli, at the moment when dd needs feeding I bung her straight on the boob, I will need to sort ds out first and then feed her. Luckily she seems to have already got herself into a 3 - 3 1/2 hourly feeding pattern so I can pretty much predict when she'll be hungry. We're hoping dh's new contract will mean he can start early and get home in time for ds' bath as at the moment I can't imagine being able to get him bathed and in bed without help. Do you ladies manage that too? (impressed emoticon)